AFLX isn’t designed for footy purists, but it’s missing what makes footy great

AFLX is a little like the sugar hit you get from sucking down a Zooper Dooper in the heart of summer. A quick rush of meaningless fun but nothing remotely lasting or nourishing.

Adam Saad of the Bombers is tackled by Dallas Willsmore of the Hawks.

AFLX is a little like the sugar hit you get from sucking down a Zooper Dooper in the heart of summer.

A quick rush of meaningless fun but nothing remotely lasting or nourishing.

On Friday night the AFL pulled out all stops to turn into Etihad Stadium into a blazing, pyrotechnic Pleasure Dome full of light and sound.

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There were DJs, food trucks, circus performers and gimmicks like Kiss Cam, with the centrepiece the AFL’s new rectangular experiment.

As a spectacle in front of 22,585 engaged fans, it was a huge improvement on Thursday’s dull affair.

Players tackled harder, the standard was appreciably better, the six teams had better squads and the crowd seemed genuinely involved.

But despite the razzle-dazzle after two nights of AFLX we still seem a long way from witnessing the dawn of a new AFL sensation.

Those heavily sponsored “Zooper” goals rained down — Jake Melksham kicked five in all and three in five minutes in an early Melbourne win.

Luke Breust is brought down by Patrick Ambrose. Picture: Michael Klein

The kids and new recruits all played their part — top-10 picks Lochie O’Brien, Paddy Dow and Nick Coffield all excited — and Essendon’s Adam Saad buzzed around.

And the youngsters in the “Kids Zone” allowed to leap for spekkies when the ball sailed through goals seemed to be having a whale of a time.

It is footy for the Twitter generation — blink-and-miss it games over in a heartbeat, on-ground commentary screaming at you just in case you miss a thing.

Yet where Twenty20 cricket enlivened a stodgy, often-boring format, the problem is AFL House is trying to fix a format that just isn’t broken.

Just like the silver balls that arrived late to clubs then were permanently jettisoned halfway through Thursday night’s event, you wonder if the AFL put enough thought into this.

All of the skills and attributes that drag people through the gate for AFL have been discouraged in AFLX.

It puts an onus on avoiding tackling, high marking and the kind of rugged contests that captivated us in last year’s finals series.

Esendon fans make the most of the bean bags behind the goals.

Gillon McLachlan says the AFL might attempt to reward kicking longer to a contest, but the AFL won’t do that by asking nicely.

So why not paint an arc 15 metres out from the goals?

Then award 12 points for a goal from that range, meaning clubs would be willing to pump the ball long and deep to a spot that might see big spekkies and one-on-one battles?

The second round-robin at least had the momentum missing on Thursday.

Melbourne knocked off the Roos to qualify for the final then Hawthorn’s five-goal second half leapfrogged St Kilda to join the Dees in the decider.

Then the Demons won a final that was alive in the final minute and actually had some bone-jarring hits and niggle between players.

What is clear from the AFL’s full-court press is that this is very much a starting point for the league, determined to tweak and experiment until this becomes a raging success.

So it will trial more players on the field so it is not quite so free-flowing, it will find a way to trial an All-Star game, it will trial it overseas.

It certainly won’t give up when it sees the dollar signs on offer if this can turn into a mini-Big Bash.

This game was never about attracting the purists, it is about winning over the Xbox generation and Millennials being lured by other entertainment.

So instead of getting angry at a game you don’t recognise or shaking your fist at the bruise-free footy on offer, ask your kids or your nephews and nieces if they liked it.

Therein lies the secret to this concept, and on that front the jury is still out.