Mark Neeld sees the best and worst in his side as Collingwood smash Melbourne

MATCH REPORT: THIS was the Queen's Birthday Dis-Honours List.  And, yes, the Demons stood in line for the bouquets once again.

THIS was the Queen's Birthday Dis-Honours List.

And, yes, the Demons stood in line for the bouquets once again.

It shouldn't be so surprising.

In three of their past five seasons - 2008, 2009 and 2013 - the Demons have been 1-10 at the halfway mark of the season.

The last time they won on the Queen's Birthday, Her Royal Highness was a teenage girl.

What was expected to happen at the MCG actually happened, and without being too blunt, this game was without a significant euphoric moment.

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For the Demons, perhaps their most potent arousal came in the first quarter when Aaron Davey skipped through two players to kick Melbourne's first goal at the 17th minute, which meant at the first break, they only trailed Collingwood by a point.

Their next goal would come at the 20th minute of the third quarter, via Jack Trengove.

In between, was classic Melbourne. They compete without result. They could turnover for Australia. They could frustrate the Dalai Lama.

In that first 30 minutes, they probably played their best footy of the season against a legitimate team, yet kicked 1.5. They beat Magpies in the contested ball, won the tackles, squared the inside 50s, and narrowly lost disposals.

The joy - and hope - of a competitive Melbourne was lost soon after.

The Magpies kicked six goals in the second quarter and 10 unanswered all up across the second and third quarters.

By then, it was 11 goals to one.

Melbourne v Collingwood,

In the final three quarters, the Pies kicked 16 goals to four.

By the end, the Magpies had significantly won all the necessary statistical components.

By the very end, everyone was praying for the final siren.

The Magpies survived without injury and got solid match time into players.

Melbourne v Collingwood,

Alan Didak played forward/midfield and although the opposition yesterday wasn't of preliminary final ilk, he danced and dipped for 25 touches, six inside 50s and a goal. He moved well, Didak, and if that kind of form is sustainable, he will play plenty of senior games in the run home.

Josh Thomas was another. Twenty-seven touches and two goals suggests he motored past VFL standard, while Quinten Lynch was as busy as he's been in the past month playing high key forward.

Really, it was quintessential Collingwood.

Swan and Pendlebury racked the numbers, Ball won the contested ball, Heath Shaw was the charge of the light brigade form deep in the defence, and Travis Cloke seemed to have a nine shots at goal: three goals, three behinds and three out of bounds on the full.

Melbourne v Collingwood,

Everyone else played their role, some better than others. Marley Williams is not a bad player out of the back, McCaffer didn't play as tag, Ben Kennedy kicked three goals and knows where to go get it in the forward 50m, and Kyle Martin kicked three goals in his second game.

Truly, most of the rest them were so mundane, they are not worth writing about. And no disrespect there.

The Demons looked like giants in the first quarter, led by the Jones boys Nathan and Matt, Trengove, Colin Sylvia's five tackles, and Jack Watts had seven touches and took two marks and kicked two behinds.

The crowd rode everything of Jack's. He skipped around three Pies in the first quarter, in the same spot he got belted by three Pies in hsi first game, and the crowd cheered.

Then Jack made a spoil and the crowd cheered.

Then Jack led and marked and the crowd cheered.

Jack completed a fend off in the middle of the MCG and the crowd clap.

And when Jack marked 35m from goal, the crowd was out of control.

And his point, well, that was about the end of the cheering.

Coach Mark Neeld spoke of frustration after the game - turnovers and the inability to complete a chain of possession - and frustration was widespread.

Melbourne v Collingwood,

In the third quarter, three Demons didn't go for a high-bounce ball just inside centre half-forward, Jarryd Blair got it and chipped to Cloke who marked in front of Colin Garland.

Garland's frustration was absolute. He swung Cloke to the ground and berated his midfielders. The result was a 50m penalty and the goal made it 10 goals the margin at the final break.

Garland was the face of the Demons yesterday.

Frustrated, exasperated and battle-weary.

It's a face all Melburnians know too well.

VOTES:
3. Dane Swan
2. Scott Pendlebury
1. Josh Thomas