Highs and lows of AFL commentary in round 8

WHY are we forced to listen to a comedy routine on country music when we’re trying to watch the footy? Mike Refone is fired up after a frustrating Friday night for footy fans.

The corporate speak continues to flow at Carlton. Picture: Getty

EVERYTHING you never wanted to know about Tom McCartin, vintage Bruce McAvaney and another dreary dose of Carlton speak.

Here are the highs and lows of round 8’s footy commentary.

THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF ROUND 7 COMMENTARY

REX RETURNS TO THE COMMENTARY BOX

The life and times of Tom McCartin

LIKE thousands of hard working Victorians, I look forward to relaxing in front of the footy on a Friday night.

But what happens when the commentator calling the game is more irritating and insufferable than your boss?

That’s the position footy fans found themselves in when Channel 7’s Brian Taylor spent almost two minutes discussing the personal history of debutant Tom McCartin during the Hawthorn v Sydney game.

Footy fans found out more than they ever needed to know about Tom McCartin. Picture: Getty

“You know he went to John Williamson’s place as one of only 40 invited to his farm for a sing-a- long, did you know that? A country and western fan, wears the Akubra hat all that sort of stuff.”

And then:

“By the way way, he was state high jump champion and shot put champion, was Tommy McCartin when he was about 13 or 14.”

That is just a taste of the comedy stylings of Taylor, and all the while a football game was unfolding in the background.

Surely footy fans can live with less reality TV-style banter in favour of what’s actually happening on field.

Co-commentators Bruce McAvaney, Wayne Carey and Cameron Ling chuckled along in the background as Taylor went off script.

Maybe making McAvaney laugh is enough for the Channel 7 footy bosses.

The amount of non-football related banter during Channel 7’s coverage has been an issue for years and shows little sign of abating.

Vintage Bruce

SYDNEY youngster Ben Ronke’s game against the Hawks was clearly special.

Kicking seven goals in any game is extraordinary, let alone your third.

Bruce McAvaney confirmed the special status of Ronke’s effort as he slotted his sixth goal.

Bruce even used the 's' word last night with this Ben Ronke goal! 😲@7AFL pic.twitter.com/V2F8fRQQok

— Sydney Swans (@sydneyswans) May 12, 2018

McAvaney is a legendary footy caller and still one of the best when on song.

But the self-referential nature of his Ronke call is interesting.

It brought to mind his call of Lance Franklin’s running goal down the Adelaide Oval wing last season, when he stopped to namecheck his old co-commentator Dennis Cometti:

“Dennis where are you?”

Is McAvaney slipping into self parody?

Move on, Dicko

THERE’S nowhere for St Kilda to hide from its horror start to the season.

Not even during the live coverage of the Richmond v North Melbourne game.

The Saints goal kicking coach Ben Dixon was on the boundary for Fox Footy when he copped this zinger from co-commentator Gerard Healy.

“I think we need to send Mason Wood down to your kicking school Dicko because each of his three kicks he’s swung his foot across the ball ... although there are some that suggest perhaps we don’t send him down to your kicking school.”

The Saints’ accuracy on goal is dismal in 2018, and Dixon wasn’t taking the sledge lying down.

Seemingly forgetting he was calling a footy game, Dixon launched into a meandering defence of his program until Sandy Roberts was forced to put him out of his misery.

“Move on, Dicko.”

Tim Membrey has become the embodiment of the Saints goalkicking woes. Picture: Getty

Carlton speak

CARLTON has been consistent in its message to the footy world this year, and that message is primarily gormless corporate speak.

CEO Cain Liddle was at it again on SEN’s Crunch Time on Saturday morning.

“Bolts talks a lot about synergy and Juddy talks a lot about cohesion ... put simply that’s just a bit of consistency and stability.”

It might be, Cain, but it’s also four buzzwords in a row.

And here’s coach Brendon Bolton in his post-match press conference discussing Carlton’s lopsided win-loss record.

“Not putting a number on it, doesn’t mean we’re not accepting losing.”

Bolton has clearly confused himself after speaking in empty riddles for so long.

The corporate speak continues to flow at Carlton. Picture: Getty

Commentary box hits and misses

SANDY Roberts was clearly looking at the wrong stat sheet when discussing Trent Cotchin before Fox Footy’s coverage of the North Melbourne v Richmond game.

“The toss of the coin has been won by Trent Cotchin of Richmond, coming into the side with 232 games behind him and over 550 goals.”

Brian Taylor missed the mark with his description of Patrick Dangerfield’s second effort after flying for a mark in the Geelong v Collingwood clash.

“His recovery was just exotic.”

Hamish McLachlan fared better while waxing lyrical on two of the AFL’s more distinguished-sounding names.

“Flynn Appleby sounds like the main character in a George Horlin-Smith play.”

Huddo rises to occasion

ANTHONY Hudson’s call of the epic South Australian Showdown was a worthy accompaniment to the occasion. The Fox Footy caller is in great form and captured the tension and excitement of the trilling final minutes.

His call of Robbie Gray’s third quarter goal-kicking spree was also a highlight.

“Here we go … for five in a quarter – Robbie, Robbie! Let him entertain you!”

Return of Rex

WE look forward to seeing how Rex Hunt fares on his return to the commentary box for this Saturday night’s match between Collingwood v St Kilda.

The Bearded Burbler’s commentary wasn’t to everyone’s taste and it will be interesting to see whether fans enjoy the flashback.