We need Jim Stynes’ spirit more than ever, writes Max Gawn

At a time when the football world is taking a stand against online bullies, we should never forget the amazing work Jim Stynes did to help young people have better lives, write MAX GAWN.

A 17-year-old, clearly undeveloped both physically and mentally, ran into Jim Stynes at the MCG while touring the facilities.

Tom Scully, Jack Trengove, Jordan Gysberts, and Luke Tapscott were all taken before me in my draft year and were clearly getting the majority of the attention.

But after the initial welcome to the club, Jim pulled me aside. He let me know that he could see I was different (was it that obvious on the first day?).

But Jim was different as well, right there and then, in the most vulnerable of settings, a clearly out-of-depth beanpole and the president of the club who was both battling cancer and a struggling team on and off the field, was a mini-Reach session, a workshop.

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It lasted all of 10 minutes and it was those 10 minutes that set up my trademark that I still live by today.

I definitely haven’t been the perfect human in my 10 years since that chat, but it's a conversation that I fall back to all the time and now, as a leader, it’s my job to see if I can have similar impact on the young people that I come across.

Everyone is different, we all have different quirks.

Seven years ago Jim passed away, leaving a very impressive legacy.

It’s OK to be different, embrace being different and accept those around you who don’t share your quirks.

Twenty-five years on, the charity that the great man “Big Jim” set up is still kicking goals. To let a young person become the best person they can possibly be.

Reach allows all perspectives to be heard through honest conversation in the hope of creating generations of more self-aware and resilient young people.

Jim Stynes saw something different in Max Gawn when he was drafted by the Demons.

Not only that, but to let young people hear from other people their age.

A 23-year-old knows more about a 23-year-old than a 40-year-old. Similarly, a 16-year-old knows more about another 16-year-old than someone my age.

The main purpose of this column is to not only pump up a charity that is improving the world one young person at a time, but also shed light on what is not only a major issue in young peoples’ lives but also AFL players.

We have an online bullying epidemic among young people.

Statistics show one in five are currently bullied online. My guess is the true figures are a lot worse, because I definitely would not have told someone if I was being bullied at 15.

I feel this week, for our club to be celebrating our 25-year partnership with Reach, could not have came at a better time.

The AFL and the AFLPA have both shared their concerns regarding player wellbeing and social media bullying in recent weeks.

They don’t always go hand-in-hand, but quite a lot of the time they do.

Players are starting to get harassed and discriminated, no longer privately, but on public forums and company Instagram pages.

What AFL players have been educated about, from day one on a list, is to always protect both the club’s brand and their personal brand, almost a “don’t bite” attitude. But that is half the problem.

For example, I shared on my social media platforms a view a member of the public had tweeted on AFL players and mental health.

I wasn’t happy with the comment and I took a stand.

Max Gawn runs through the Demons banner taking a stand against online bullies. Picture: Michael Klein

Was sharing it the right idea? I’m not sure. But what I witnessed was 90 per cent of replies were supportive to my view and almost bullying the tweeter.

This infuriated the original tweeter and caused him to become nastier and nastier with his replies. It was his way to defend himself. It was his way to deal with shame.

That's normal, people deal with shame differently, this is one way. He bit at anything that was thrown his way.

But it hit me straight away, we as AFL players are encouraged not to bite, not to reply, not to engage in abusive social media, but to suppress the messages, bury them.

We can’t let off our steam, we have to bottle it. Protect our brand, try to keep him as a member, just swallow the shame.

Message after message, we continue to bottle it up.

Until one day, depending on the person, the bottle can explode, which may lead to anxiety, depression and all sorts of mental health issues.

Behind every footballer, is a person. We, just like young Australians, feel pain and are on

an emotional rollercoaster.

Yes, I see the view, that we signed up to be in the public eye. We play a game that people are

incredibly passionate about and, especially in Melbourne, it is a fish bowl of high pressure.

Sure, if I play a bad game, feel free to let me know. Just do it without the abusive language or the personal harassment.

Stay away from discrimination against race, religion, gender, colour, sexual preference, mental health, threats and family. Feel free to tell me that I should have kicked the goal against Geelong last year in Round 1, or I fell below my outstanding average in SuperCoach. I most likely will just brush that off. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want your wife or children to hear.

In Round 1 this year I decided to wear boots with “Kia Kaha Christchurch” written on them.

Gawn’s tribute to Christchurch victims. Picture: Michael Klein

After a disappointing performance from both myself and the team, I got back to read all the good comments people had written both about Christchurch and the gesture.

But one comment stood out. A comment regarding that it wasn’t a good look to wear them considering my performance.

Yes, let me know about my performance, but don’t get in the way of me showing those back home (friends and family) and to the 50 innocent victims and their families, that I’m thinking of them.

It’s strange how long a negative online comment stays with you compared to a negative comment in reality.

Our mums would tell us, just don’t read it. Ninety-nine per cent of them we try not to, Mum.

But it’s the funny thing about social media, it’s addictive, it's a notification that must be clicked so it can go away.

I’ve witnessed out of my approximately 100 teammates along the journey, at least 30 per cent deleted their social media accounts. The cons outweighed the pros. Is this what we want?

I’m on Twitter to follow my sporting idols. American tennis player John Isner replied to one of my tweets which I then showed to a lot of my friends with a sense of pride.

Jim Stynes with some of the kids from his “Reach for the Stars” program.”

I passionately watch him now every time he plays. I’m a passionate cycling fan, how else would I know how Lucas Hamilton is performing in one-day classics in Europe?

No one wants to always hear from only a small collection of players. Let’s make it more attractive for all AFL players to get on social media and do what it’s main purpose is for, to connect with fans.

My club has implemented a “no phones policy” post-match until we leave the ground, which I

think is a very smart idea. We get to connect as a group without technology and stay away from any feedback.

As footballers, post-game, naturally we want instant feedback. If coaches won’t give it to us, someone will via social media. This is now not accessed for at least the first hour after a match.

On Friday night, we broke a banner representing those one in five young Australians who can’t cope with online bullying.

It’s not just your issue. I don’t know how to fix it. There are powers much greater than me in control. But I will make a stand, along with fellow AFL players who have been attacked recently.

Twenty-five years ago, Jim Stynes created the Reach Foundation. It’s like the great man could see into the future, because we need Jim’s values more than ever as a society.

It would be remiss of me to not write about this. Jim’s legacy is to create generations of more self-aware and resilient young people, the legacy should live on.