Dennis Cometti to retire: We take a look back at the Channel Seven commentator’s best lines
AS we head into Dennis Cometti’s final season behind the microphone, we thought it an opportune time to take a look back at some of the many times he’s made us chuckle while watching the footy.
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AS we head into Dennis Cometti’s final season behind the microphone, we thought it an opportune time to take a look back at some of the many times he’s made us chuckle while watching the footy.
Word of Cometti’s impending retirement from AFL broadcasting shouldn’t come as news to fans, with the 66 year old telling the Herald Sun in September 2014 that his time would be up when the current broadcast rights deal expired.
“I can’t imagine doing it beyond the current agreement. That’ll be the end for me,” Perth-based Cometti said at the time.
“It’s not the football, it’s the travel. I’ve worked out that I’ve spent five years of my life in a hotel.
“I remember a player in the 1970s who retired at 27 even though he was fit and going well. I asked him once why he stopped playing so young and he said, ‘because I knew I wasn’t going to get any better’ and that’s not a bad way of looking at things. I’m certainly not going to get any better!”
Take a look back at some of what have now become known as Cometti-isms — centimetre perfect lines — delivered by our favourite commentator.
THE BEST OF DENNIS COMETTI:
“Like a cork in the ocean!”
One of Dennis Cometti’s most famous lines. It was first delivered after West Coast Eagle Peter Wilson booted a memorable snap goal over his shoulder in the 1992 grand final.
“Nasty situation. He’s caught between A Rock and a hard place.”
The line came when a player was caught between former North Meloburne player Anthony Rock and the boundary fence.
“It’s like finding fault with Miss Venezuela.”
Cometti speaking about Adelaide midfielder Rory Sloane.
“Alan Didak was Stevie J before Stevie J was Stevie J.”
On Collingwood player Alan Didak having skills like Geelong’s Steve Johnson.
“How’s that, a two-Carr collision, both with the same rego!”
When Josh Carr wearing jumper number nine for Port Adelaide, bumped his brother Matthew, wearing number nine for Fremantle.
“Parker to Carr ... sounds like a match made in heaven!”
Another play on the Carr name.
“Metropolis, kicking to the city end.”
Speaking about former West Coast and Fremantle player Daniel Metropolis.
“The guns of Paparone need a bit of work.”
Speaking about young Brisbane Lions player Marco Paparone.
“Barlow to Bateman. The Hawks are attacking alphabetically ... ”
On Hawthorn players Kris Barlow and Chance Bateman
“Rocca comes to it ... well, Rocca, like my wife driving — needs a fair bit of lane.”
Cometti on Collingwood forward Anthony Rocca’s turning circle
“Brent (Guerra) hates losing and that extends to his hair.”
On Hawk Brent Guerra, who did advertisements for The Hair Institute.
AND OF COURSE ... SOME LINES NEED NO EXPLANATION
“Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they’re playing My Sharona!”
“Spider had both his legs taken out from under him — leaving only the other six to balance on.”
“Ling’s running off the ground a little bit gingerly.”
“Farmer may have an injury to his calf........hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem.”
“Kevin Sheedy, who was coaching Essendon 14 years before Adelaide was founded. The team, not the city.”
“Collingwood know they’re in trouble, it’s like being in the bathtub with the Loch Ness monster!”
“In for the Cats today, David and Steve Johnson. Who better to patch up a line-up than Johnson & Johnson?”
“It was like a self-saucing pudding. Players just waiting for the whistle.”
“Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really, Lamb should be in the sandwich!”
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