GWS Giants’ AFLW star Pepa Randall’s burnout hell chasing dream
Pepa Randall lived on just four hours of sleep, working 12-hour days in 40C heat chasing her AFLW dream, before it descended into a nightmare of severe anxiety, depression and pneumonia.
AFLW
Don't miss out on the headlines from AFLW. Followed categories will be added to My News.
Freezing cold showers and two scoops of pre-workout.
That’s how GWS Giant Pepa Randall survived gruelling sessions after working a 12-hour groundskeeper shift in 40C heat... on just four hours of sleep.
She knew it was unsustainable, but Randall put her head down and just kept going — until everything came crashing down.
“I was pretty broke and had to work heaps, it’s a laborious and physical job, we drop in cricket wickets into the ground.
“Backing that up with a training session when I had absolutely nothing in the tank… my general health and well-being just went completely out the door.”
Watch every match of the 2020 NAB AFLW Season LIVE & On-Demand on KAYO. New to Kayo? Get your 14-day free trial & start streaming instantly >
Randall had moved from Melbourne to Sydney after being drafted by the Giants for the 2018 AFLW season.
From the outside, she was living the high life, playing the sport she loves.
But after training, when she got home, Randall was drowning in an impossible schedule of footy, work and university.
“I was putting enormous pressure on myself to finish my degree, while finding meaningful work, while moving interstate every six months. And trying to play better football,” Randall said.
“This is not a unique story, a lot of players are suffering through similar things. It’s the curse of the athletes’ mindset of wanting to improve constantly,” Randall said.
Determined to improve on her strong 2018 AFLW season — after which Randall was named in the 40-woman All Australia squad — the defender moved back to Melbourne over winter to play for Hawthorn in the Victorian Football League.
Randall had only two weeks off from football that year and by the end, she had completely burned out.
“We won the flag, but by the end, I despised football, I hated the whole thing, I was exhausted by the process, I don’t think I was a good teammate because I was so resentful,” Randall said.
“I got pneumonia, I started to suffer severe anxiety, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.
“And I isolated myself from my close friends because I was fixated on this one goal of playing.”
Straight after that 2018 VFL grand final, Randall packed up her life back up to Sydney for another gritty pre-season with the Giants.
But this time, she knew she couldn’t get through summer without reaching out for help.
“They (GWS) were fantastic in providing a lot of support, not just through a psychologist, but also they identified quickly that burnout had happened and they were helpful in monitoring when I needed to be pulled back,” Randall said.
“I started thinking of the burnout and mental illness as a real sports injury … in the same way that if you injure your hamstring, you have to keep strengthening it for a long period of time after it’s better.”
Randall said the pressure of keeping fit and injury-free in the lead up to round one is difficult to manage.
So too, is adjusting to life after the six-week competition has wrapped up.
“Going back to everyday life was confronting because it meant I had to address the things I was neglecting and there was no football and excitement of AFLW to mask anything” Randall said.
MORE AFLW NEWS
Juggling football and work the biggest issue for AFLW players
Round by round: What the Crows’ AFLW premiership defence looks like in 2020
Melbourne captain Daisy Pearce says injury woes will galvanise Demons playing group
The 23-year-old said that players and clubs need to have more honest conversations about burnout and life outside of the AFLW.
If not, Randall fears that the competition will lose some of its best players.
“It’s disappointing that it’s going to take players to go through those experiences before we adjust, but I’m glad it’s starting to become public,” Randall said.
“It’s a great wake up call for people to see that yes it’s great we can play, but it’s taking a significant toll on people's lives.”
Randall worries that many players feel so fortunate to be playing AFLW that they’re reluctant to openly discuss issues with the set up.
“There was a real sense of gratefulness, and I really hate that description with AFLW, but it is thrown around a lot, there is a sense that you should be really grateful that you’re in the position you’re in, because everyone else would kill to be there as well,” Randall said.
“And it’s amazing, but it’s hard and not rosy all the time … there’s a lot of things that go on behind closed doors that are pretty important and need to be identified.”
Last year, Randall chose not to play in the VFL over winter to prioritise her mental health.
“It was changing my thoughts around … taking a day off isn’t lazy, it’s actually taking time to fuel yourself to be a better sportsperson, deferring university isn’t failing.”
“I feel really great now, but it doesn’t mean I can go back to sleeping four hours a night and taking 50 things on.”
This year, Randall has joined the Giants’ leadership group and is determined to support young players as they come through the club.
“I wish I’d known it can be really hard and exhausting. Now that I’ve come full circle I’m going to be really honest with new players coming through,” Randall said.
“It’s quite a shock when they realise how difficult, intense, draining and disappointing a season can be, especially if you’re someone who sustains an injury or if things don’t go the way you plan.”
IRISH STAR’S RIDICULOUS RECOVERY INSPIRING GIANTS
by Jon Ritson
Yvonne Bonner says teammate Cora Staunton’s odds-defying recovery from a shattered right leg will inspire the Giants when the going gets tough this season.
As Alan McConnell’s AFLW side prepare to begin their 2020 campaign against Gold Coast on Saturday, the fact Staunton’s name will be on the teamsheet is still causing Bonner to both smile and shake her head.
She remains staggered at her fellow Irishwoman’s recovery from a horror injury that saw 38-year-old Staunton break both the tibia and fibula bones in her right leg during a match for UNSW/ES Bulldogs back in May – a career-ending injury for lesser mortals.
But not in this case and the sight of the Gaelic Football legend running out for round one will be a massive fillip for Bonner, as she tackles her second season as a Giant.
Donegal’s Bonner, who kicked six goals for GWS last season, told The Daily Telegraph: “When (the injury) happened back in May you always think it’s going to be at least 12 months to get back. You certainly didn’t think Cora would be back for this season. No way.
“But she was determined from the day it happened she was going to be back. That just says everything about her make up. She did everything in her power to get back and she has. She’s as strong as ever. She is a real character and we’re very lucky to have her at the club.
“You look at what she has done to get herself back, to be out there and enjoying her football and so it’s up to yourself to make sure that you’re giving as much, not letting her down.”
Bonner knows that in such a short campaign, every opportunity counts.
MORE GIANTS AFLW NEWS
AFLW 2020: GWS Giant Nicola Barr’s high hopes for season four
GWS Giants AFLW gun Haneen Zreika’s bid for NRL, AFL history
As the 2020 AFLW season begins, here are 20 players to keep an eye out for
Wagga gun Alyce Parker heading home with AFLW ‘family’ for Giants v Richmond
“I definitely want to contribute goals and take the chances you do get, because you don’t get many,” she said.
“Look, you want to test yourself with and against the best. Max yourself to the limit to see how far you can go, mentally and physically.”
While a good start against the Suns is the immediate priority, there’s one particular fixture that stands out for Bonner.
Round eight sees the Giants face a Western Bulldogs side containing Bonner’s Donegal teammate Katy Herron and Lauren Spark, the latter playing a critical role in teeing up Bonner’s Australian adventure.
Spark is one of the driving forces behind CrossCoders, a global female athletic program offering women from other sports the chance to earn an AFLW contract.
Two years ago Bonner found herself on the end of an invitation from Spark to try her luck at AFL and grasped the adventure on offer.
Originally published as GWS Giants’ AFLW star Pepa Randall’s burnout hell chasing dream