Hawthorn AFLW skipper Tilly Lucas-Rodd opens up on journey to becoming non-binary and playing with ‘freedom’

After more than a year of soul-searching and “turmoil”, Tilly Lucas-Rodd found themselves. The Hawks captain opens up on their journey to identifying as non-binary, and why it means so much to them and the community.

Tilly Lucas-Rodd is ready to play free.

Free from expectations, free from the shackles of finding themselves.

Free from more than a year of “turmoil”.

The Hawthorn skipper, 27, revealed in May that they identify as non-binary.

It wasn’t an easy destination to arrive at.

The defender said at the time that they didn’t “identify strongly as my assigned gender at birth”, and that their identity as non-binary was the label they felt most comfortable with.

A non-binary person is someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman.

For Lucas-Rodd – who uses the pronouns they/them – it was a realisation after some 18 months of soul-searching.

And whether it would be “easier” just to keep living their old life.

“For me, it started in January last year (2022), so it’s a year and a half ago now that I started experiencing (the start of that journey),” they said.

“When I spent the year in kind of that self-discovery, and before I told anyone, it was like there was that internal struggle and turmoil.

“I got to a point where I was like, would it just be easier to keep living as the old Tilly? It would bring me so much comfort and so much happiness, but would it be too much for everyone else around me, and this platform?”

Lucas-Rodd can’t wait for their first AFLW season as their true self. Picture: Michael Klein

There was telling family and friends, then Hawthorn released a video on the club website to inform the wider AFLW community.

“Hi, this is me,” Lucas-Rodd said at the time.

What followed was something else.

“It has been life-changing,” they said.

“Just in the fact it just shows me and everyone else that it’s OK to be who you are and show up however you want to be.

“That struggle I was going through last year, it’s nice that it’s over and I never have to think about that again. Sometimes now it’s annoying, like when people use the wrong pronouns and things like that, but it’s getting a lot better.”

Then there was the messages, which they shared with the playing group – a team that had only been formed less than 12 months before, after the Hawks were granted an AFLW licence to join the competition in season seven, 2022.

“I put up a screenshot of a message I got when the video came out (when sharing my story with the players) and it was from this person saying that they hadn’t come out to anyone, but they were non-binary and I was the first person that they ever told,” Lucas-Rodd revealed.

“They were like, ‘You’ve made me realise that it’s OK, and that people will accept me and that I finally feel seen’.

“That’s just one person, right, that has the courage to message me, but that’s a huge thing. You don’t realise the impact.

“As AFLW athletes, we don’t realise the impact we can have on individuals and communities and the change that we can really create.”

Lucas-Rodd with their teammates, who they said could not have been more supportive of their decision. Picture: Getty Images

Coach Bec Goddard has noticed the change in “TLR”.

“That is absolutely what I’ve seen of Til this pre-season. It’s freedom,” Goddard said.

“And it’s hard … we can never understand that personal turmoil, because it’s something that we’ve never (had to deal with).

“I was a bit like, well, (Emily) Bates is here, so does that enable Til to be a bit more of themselves, as well? Take that pressure a little.

“I think the combination of the two things – but I see a far more relaxed TLR this season already, before even getting into Round 1. It’s the vibe.”

Lucas-Rodd is the only AFLW captain that identifies as non-binary. Carlton forward Darcy Vescio and former AFLW players Tori Groves-Little and El Chaston have come out as non-binary over recent years.

Goddard said to have a non-binary skipper – while symbolic – was simply indicative of the changing face of football.

“It’s something that is just a changing way,” she said.

“It’s a changing way of what we’re seeing (in the game). It’s authentic leadership, as well.

“That’s the most important thing. It’s really hard to find people like that.”

When the club’s video was released in May, Lucas-Rodd – who also coaches in the VFLW and teaches at a community school in Melbourne’s inner-north – had already informed those close to them of their decision.

The Hawthorn skipper at the recent AFLW captains day. Picture: Getty Images

There were still nerves, the phone left behind in the car just in case.

But they recognise the move and what it means to the bigger picture.

“To be publicly out as non-binary is a huge thing, not just for me but probably for the community and other members of the queer community,” they said.

“It’s a huge thing.

“But I was really well-received and loved by not only my teammates and family and friends, but also the AFLW community. We have the best fans in the world.

“They’re so accepting and it’s just a beautiful community, built on the values of acceptance and tolerance and love. It was quite a nice, easy thing.”

Hawthorn’s second AFLW campaign begins on Saturday night.

New season, new teammates, new Tilly.

“It will be (a chance to play with freedom),” they said.

“It will be really freeing, getting to live authentically and be just Tilly and that’s enough, and that person is loved and accepted by everyone around them.

“It will be really nice having the first season as me.”