Darcy Vescio opens up on why AFLW Pride Game is so important to her and LGBTIQ community

AFL Women’s has changed the AFL landscape in many ways but what still stands out is that there’s still no openly gay man playing in the AFL. DARCY VESCIO explains why it’s a different story in AFLW.

Darcy Vescio shows off Carlton’s Pride Game jumper. Picture: Tony Gough

AFL Women’s has changed the AFL landscape in many ways. It’s had a major impact on female participation, helped to break down barriers for women in sport and, has seen the sudden influx of openly gay women entering the league for the first time.

When Erin Phillips made history as the first AFLW best and fairest winner, a photo of her and wife Tracey went viral. It was shared far and wide. I was there on the night Erin was and will forever remember that image of two people who love each other sharing a celebratory kiss. Its significance wasn’t lost on me.

DARCY VESCIO: WHY AN AFLW SEASON IS SO INTENSE

DARCY VESCIO: TAKING ON THE ONLINE TROLLS

DARCY VESCIO: DON’T STOP YOUR KIDS PLAYING FOOTY

This Sunday our clash against the Western Bulldogs at Whitten Oval is the second AFLW Pride match, where we will celebrate the LGBTIQ community and wear special guernseys to mark the occasion.

Aussie rules hasn’t traditionally been a place where the LGBTIQ community has thrived. There have been shifts over the years but what still stands out is that there’s still no openly gay man playing in the AFL.

It’s a different story in AFLW.

Erin Phillips and wife Tracy Gahan kiss at the AFLW best and fairest in 2017. Picture: Getty Images

I was recently a panellist at the Stand Up Events gala night — an organisation that works to eradicate homophobia in male dominated sports through education programs and awareness — and a woman approached me afterwards, curious to talk about why there are many AFLW players who are open about their non-straight sexuality whereas the men don’t. It seemed very disproportionate to her and to be fair, it really is.

I’ve been part of women’s football for the last seven years and I’ve always found it to be an open and safe space for LGBTIQ people. I think that’s because many of the women who built teams and leagues decades ago were part of the community and therefore created spaces that celebrates difference while sharing a passion for football.

Over time, it’s naturally evolved and grown bigger but the foundations and values that have been consolidated over the years have remained strong and been reflected in the AFL Women’s competition.

I even think back to how much I’ve grown and changed through my exposure to different people and being open to learning. It comes down to the smallest things like asking someone if they have a partner rather than a girlfriend or boyfriend that can be the difference.

It seems so small but by asking in that way you’re acknowledging that sexuality isn’t a visibly ticked box. The language we choose to use is so vital in creating an inclusive environment.

LGBTIQ isn’t just an acronym. It represents people we all know. I think sometimes we can get caught up with labels and forget that we’re talking about people just like you and me.

We’ve all heard the phrase “leave politics out of footy” but the thing is, when I step out onto the footy field I can’t leave my values and what I believe in in the change room because it’s part of who I am as a footballer and as a person.

Part of the importance of this game is celebrating, giving a voice and putting faces to people who have been pushed aside. People who have felt shame or felt like an outcast and been through years and years of hardship because they’re a member of the LGBTIQ community.

But this game also provides an important opportunity for people who perhaps haven’t had much experience with the LGBTIQ community to understand their story and why this game is important to many.

Darcy Vescio shows off Carlton’s Pride Game jumper. Picture: Tony Gough

It continues the push to celebrate people for their individuality and for being true to who they are rather than having to conform to what was previously deemed acceptable.

One of the most exciting parts about the Pride games — I’ve played in two already in my career, one at VFL level and one in the AFLW last year — is hearing stories from people who felt compelled to go to the game for the very first time. They’d never felt comfortable enough to attend an AFL game before, something a lot of people would take for granted.

This week I heard the story of a trans person who simply wished to not be spat on when at the football with their family.

It’s really not asking for much, is it? But this is the very real experience for some people in our society.

Growing up around football I’ve always felt safe and welcomed and consider going to the footy part of my routine. But I think it’s important for all of us to recognise that it’s not the case for everyone.

This is why showing pride is important.

The recent video, which I’m sure many have seen, involving Sam Newman demonstrates that there’s still a long way to go in understanding and respecting people who have lived or are living different lives to our own and ensuring they have the platform to have a voice within the conversation.

I saw a lot of people playing that video down as a joke but I’m yet to meet or speak to a trans person who took it lightly. I’m not a trans person, so who am I to say what they should or shouldn’t find offensive?

I’m proud to be part of the Pride Game on Sunday as it pays tribute to the space that is wholly women’s football and where the foundations have been built by some remarkable women, many of who don’t identify as straight.

Darcy Vescio and then Bulldog Emma Kearney model jumpers for last year’s Pride Game. Picture: Getty Images

When I look back on my time in footy when I’m old and grey, being part of these games will be some of the proudest milestones of my career.

When I wear my pride jumper on Sunday, I’m wearing it for the people who build the space I thrive in today. I’m wearing it for the trans child in country Victoria. I’m wearing it for the girl who doesn’t know herself yet. I’m wearing it to start a conversation amongst future allies. I’m wearing it for those who are trying so hard to blend in. I’m wearing it for those who fabulously stand out. I’m wearing it for the AFL players who can’t yet come out publicly. I’m wearing it for me. I’m wearing it for you.