AFLW 2022: Darcy Vescio’s decision to reveal they are non-binary the toughest call

Carlton star Darcy Vescio’s decision to identify as non-binary has drawn a powerful response from teammates. With the co-vice captain then replying in an emotional video.

Carlton’s co-vice captain Elise O’Dea says the AFLW is setting the trend for all players in both the men’s and women’s competitions in “being who they want to be” after Blues star Darcy Vescio revealed they were non-binary.

It comes as Vescio, the second AFLW player to identify as non-binary, revealed the process in an emotional video that led to their realisation and the fears they had around potentially not being accepted as a result of it.

Vescio, one of the stars of the AFLW competition, revealed to the public last week that they were non-binary and no longer identified as either a female or male.

The Blues co-vice captain told their teammates earlier and O’Dea said it was an incredible moment.

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Darcy Vescio has revealed to the public that they were non-binary and no longer identified as either a female or male.

“I felt extremely proud to be in the room where Darce felt like that they could come out to everybody and say that and they felt comfortable enough to share that,” O’Dea told the Herald Sun.

“Because I could imagine it would be pretty scary, not knowing how people would react to that news but in true Carlton style everyone was amazing.

“I think it is a good reflection on where society is getting too and these things are becoming more normal.”

On Wednesday the AFL released a video of Vescio talking about their realisation in late October.

After being asked what is your biggest fear, an emotional Vescio decided to reveal the news about themselves.

“I feel like this lines up... over the past little while I feel like I’ve come to the realisation that I’m non-binary,” Vescio said.

Vescio during her emotional video where the co-Carlton captain reveals how tough it was to tell friends and family they were non-binary.

“I feel like I’ve always thought about sexuality and obviously identified as not straight but gender has been something that I haven’t put much thought into until the past couple of years.

“So it makes a lot of sense to me that I’m not quite the ‘w’ I guess.”

Vescio said they told their partner earlier on in the year, and while the reaction from her and also Carlton players was amazing they did have some concerns about how they would be received.

“As soon as I realised this was me I felt it was something I really needed to share and I’m not crying because I’m upset with it, it’s because it has taken some time and you are unsure how people will respond immediately,” they said.

“I believe you are what you are and the way people respond to that it isn’t any of their business, it doesn’t change who you are if people are accepting or not.

“But I guess you still have the fear that you will be met with discomfort and people might reject what you are saying.”

Georgia Gee and Vescio celebrate a goal against Fremantle at Ikon Park last season.

O’Dea, who is a vice-captain of Carlton along with Vescio, said the AFLW should be very proud of creating an environment where Vescio and Gold Coast’s Tori Groves-Little can reveal they are non-binary.

“I think that’s where we are setting the trend for the male competition because I feel like we are setting new standards,” she said.

“There is no real norm in our competition, it is just really accepting and there are no barriers for people being who they want to be.

“We are providing a comfortable environment where people feel like they can be themselves and I feel like the male competition could take a lot from that.”

How Darcy’s courage will inspire Blues

Carlton AFLW coach Daniel Harford says whenever Blues captain Darcy Vescio addresses a group “it’s hard not to be engaged in everything they say”.

But as Vescio stood up in front teammates just prior to the Blues’ Christmas break to reveal they were non-binary and no longer identified as female or male, Harford said the Carlton goalkicking ace’s words were even more impressive.

Darcy Vescio, right, celebrates a goal with teammate Georgia Gee during the 2021 season.

“Darce got up in front of the group and told them of their situation and how it had come to be and finally being comfortable in their own skin and being at peace with the world,” Harford told News Corp.

“It was lovely, it was a lovely moment.

“To see someone who we all love dearly get up in front of a group of their peers and have the courage to say this is me was really, really powerful.

“Darcy is such a beautiful spirit, every time they speak it’s hard not to be engaged in everything they say.

“And this was another moment for them to highlight to the group that it is OK to be you and to highlight for our entire program that it’s OK and we encourage you to be you.”

Carlton coach Daniel Harford at training in December. Picture: Michael Klein

The two-time All-Australian and league leading goalkicker posted a message on social media on Wednesday, saying: “Just popping in to let you know that I am non-binary.

“Sharing this feels a bit daunting but brings me a lot of warmth and happiness.”

Vescio, who said “they” and “them” were their most comfortable pronouns, is the second player in the AFLW to reveal they are non-binary following Gold Coast’s Tori Groves-Little’s announcement also in December.

Vescio texted Harford, who has been coaching Carlton’s AFLW side since April 2018, about their decision a couple of weeks ago.

“They sent a text message the night before training telling me about it and then they came into my office the next day and we had a bit of a chat about it,” Harford said.

“And they explained a bit more about what it was and how it all worked.

“Because I must admit, I didn’t know too much about it when that first message came through.

“One of the things I’ve learnt during my time in women’s footy over the past five years is that there are a lot of different parts of life that I wasn’t aware of.

“They just explained what the situation was and how they had came to rest on their identity so that was the crux of it.”

Vescio in action against the Crows. Picture: Matt Turner/AFL Photos

The post on Wednesday evening by Vescio has been celebrated widely in AFLW circles and received mainly positive comments by social media users.

Harford said the reaction from inside and outside the football world was massive.

“Darcy is one of those people on the planet that is hard not to love full stop,” Harford said.

“Because they give so much to everyone they come across and it is a very powerful force they have inside of them, the response from the playing group and the club was exactly what I suspected.

“Nothing but love because it’s actually not about us, it’s about Darcy and their comfortability in the world.

“And I must admit the amount of support they have received from the football community but also the general community over the last 48 hours has been unbelievably heartwarming and amazing and we hope that gives others who are experiencing similar thoughts and emotions some support.”

Harford said the announcement by Vescio wouldn’t impact how he worked as a coach one bit, but he now had a big challenge.

“My challenge, and I’m going to bugger it up and Darcy is cool with this, but I’m going to get the pronouns wrong at some stage,” he said.

“Just through 40 years of middle age man habit, so I’m going to get it wrong at some stage.

“But nothing will change, I still call Darcy DV3 so I’ll continue calling them that and try not to misgender them.

“Darcy knows that no-one will try to do it on purpose and it’s still new for a lot of us but they will have our full support and we will do everything to keep things as normal for them because that’s what they want.”