AFL 2021: Tom Papley on family, teammates and love for the Sydney Swans

The Tom Papley show hit overdrive against the reigning premiers at the weekend, but it hasn’t been like that. In fact, it’s been months of uncertainty and family drama for the Swan.

It’s not you, it’s me.

When Tom Papley attempted romance’s oldest break-up line you could forgive the Swans for feeling like any other jilted lover.

Didn’t we just commit to each other on a long-term contract through to the end of 2023.

And weren’t we doing so well during four beautiful years together?

As it turned out, Sydney’s brilliant young goalsneak wasn’t quite telling his teammates the full version of the story in Sydney.

But rather than hiding a dalliance with another rival, Papley was working through family issues that had rumbled away his entire life.

Only last summer did Papley feel comfortable enough to reveal his father’s battle with bipolar disorder had been behind the trade request that Sydney quashed at the end of 2019.

Finally, everything made sense.

Six months on from the September 2020 decision to fulfil his contract with Sydney, the 24-year-old knows there is nowhere else he would rather be.

His girlfriend, Annie, moved up to Sydney last week, his football team is humming, and his mates and coaches finally understand those 18 months of uncertainty.

Watch the 2021 Toyota AFL Premiership Season. Every match of every round Live on Kayo. New to Kayo? Try 14-Days Free Now >

Sydney Swans star Tom Papley opens up on family and his love for the Bloods. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

Maybe as important as all of that is that his relationship with father, David, is as strong as it has ever been.

Papley played his 101st game against Richmond on Saturday — with four goals part of his dynamic performance — and is well aware his future lies in Sydney.

“I never really spoke about (my dad’s issues) within the club and he’s OK with it now and for me to talk about it. But I think I have grown up with it and it’s a hard thing to grow up with. As a young bloke I didn’t know what was going on,” Papley told the Herald Sun.

“Now he’s good. He is as good as I have seen him for a long time and obviously the trade (discussion) stressed him out a bit, but he’s going well. Mum and dad are going well. It’s good to see everything going well. When he’s in trouble now and not feeling well, he lets people know and he’s doing the right thing. We have always had a close relationship but we have had a few mishaps. But we are as good as we have been since I moved up.”

Take the baton.

Bring on Season 2021.#Bloodspic.twitter.com/VWdyG3YRZl

— Sydney Swans (@sydneyswans) March 19, 2021

Papley says the relief to be able to tell his mates has allowed them into what was previously a private world.

“Yeah, that’s it. The boys wanted to support the player,” he said. “It was never against them or the club. I just wanted to go home and help out. But he’s going well so it’s all good.”

In hindsight Papley’s feat early in 2020 as he kicked 21 goals in the first 10 rounds to at one stage feature in Coleman Medal predictions was remarkable.

With his deal to go to Carlton kiboshed, he fronted up on day one and told his teammates he was 100 per cent committed to the club.

Even if he wasn’t actually sure of that fact himself.

“Obviously it was a very stressful time and there were a few relationships I had to get back,” Papley said. “Probably not with ‘Horse’ (John Longmire), but with some staff members. But I feel like I am pretty good at building relationships. It was obviously uncomfortable at the start but eventually you go forward and everything became normal.”

As the season progressed Papley still had a decision to make, one complicated by that contract which was never going to be easy to extricate himself from.

Just because the trade had been rejected, his issues hadn’t magically evaporated.

“It was in my mind a lot. But I think probably the way I was playing and the growth you could see coming along, I didn’t want to go,” he said.

“I was thinking about staying, and that’s why I stayed. If I was thinking about staying, deep down in my heart, then why not just stay. Obviously I can be a bit of an out-there character and I was thinking about going out and having a quiet night out and how those things might be a bit different down in Melbourne. That came into my mind and I spoke to my manager (Winston Rous of Phoenix) and he was awesome through the whole process.”

During Fox Footy’s telecast of the Sydney-Brisbane clash, Jon Brown dropped the mini-bombshell that he had told suitors including Carlton and Melbourne he was staying.

“It was interesting because we had just played Carlton that week and wanted it to get out before all that controversy, whether we beat them or they beat us, and I put something on the socials but Browny had already broken it. I just wanted it out so I could focus on the rest of the year and keep on being a leader. And in the last couple of games we nearly beat Geelong and you could see the growth so it was all really exciting.”

His partner Annie, also from the Gippsland town of Bunyip but having lived in Kew in recent years, has finally made the trip north.

“It’s massive. She has changed her life to move up,” Papley said. “It’s a big move and she’s a nurse so she’s had a rough year in Melbourne. It will take a bit to get used to it, living with a girlfriend, but it’s very good so far. She has only moved up a week ago and it’s been raining the whole time, but she loves the beach and had a good relationship with a few of the girls and will get a nursing job around the corner.”

Tom Papley is loving his footy. Picture: Ryan Pierse/AFL Photos/Getty

Papley recently signed on as an ambassador for Mindfull Aus after close mate Tyson Bale took his own life last year.

“He was a guy I used to go head-to-head with in junior cricket and he committed suicide. Given my family has a history in the mental health side I knew the guy Matt Runnalls who I played cricket with way back who is the CEO and founder of Mindfull Aus.

“They are keen to get awareness about mental health into the rural areas and schools. When I grew up there were no counsellors, no psychologists in primary or high schools and it’s important to get them in there. Even with issues like Spud (Danny Frawley’s suicide), just speak up. Don’t be afraid. The last few years, it’s growing a lot. It’s OK not to be OK.

“It is tough to come out and I haven’t had anything but a couple of boys here have and they have spoken to people in the club and it’s helped them and could have saved them. It’s the best thing to be tough and come out. Blokes respect it more now than putting it down.”

Papley knows the football world is waiting to see if Sydney’s resurgence is an early-season flash in the pan.

“No one really thinks can do anything but inside the four walls we do,” he said.

“It’s what the Swans are about, being the underdogs. We have always been the underdogs. People will continue to write us off but we are happy to keep being that underdog.”

One reason for that confidence?

Tom Papley at the Gabba. Picture: Bradley Kanaris/Getty

Papley says the work ethic and footy smarts of Errol Gulden, Braeden Campbell and Logan McDonald means they can maintain the rage after their stunning opening fortnight of football.

“Seeing those guys on debut, it was a bit of a flashback. Me and Cal Mills and George Hewett all debuted together (in Round 1 2016) and we played well and beat Collingwood by ten goals. The boys came in and gave energy and excitement. It’s good to see the work they have put in during the pre-season because it comes out. They have such good footy smarts.

“You would have seen that and the skills but they are willing to learn off the field. It’s impressed me all pre-season and it helps my leadership and makes me feel good knowing I have helped guys like Errol for the last three or four months, just giving him a couple of tips to make him get better makes me feel good.

“As a key forward Logan has the same footy smarts and competitiveness and in training and in the pre-season you could see his leading patterns are three or four years ahead of his time.”

Lance Franklin’s return is the icing on the cake.

Only now in his sixth season does Papley feel totally comfortable around the AFL megastar after their friendship grew during hub-life.

“A couple of years ago, definitely in my first year, I was timid around him.”

“I was still star-struck. But off the field in the hub, me and Justin McInerney and a few guys formed a really close relationship with him.

“He would have found it hard being away from his family but he bonded with everyone. With him not playing, he could have easily got on the plane and instead he stayed with us and supported us. We played Sting-Pong every night and he was always there.”

Sting-Pong? Say that again?

“It’s ping-pong but you get a bit of punishment if you lose (by your opponent whacking the ball at you). It’s always competitive. He is really good at it. One of the best.”