2018 AFL Commentary Awards: Best and worst commentators

WHO had the best one-liner, the most childish joke and the biggest F-bomb of 2018? Forget the Brownlow, the Norm Smith and the MVP — the 2018 AFL Commentary Awards are here.

WHO had the best one-liner, the most childish joke and the biggest F-bomb of 2018? Forget the Brownlow, the Norm Smith and the MVP - the 2018 AFL Commentary Awards are here.

BIGGEST F**K-UP: ALISTAIR LYNCH

ALASTAIR Lynch’s accidental F-bomb — and Fox Sports co-commentator Dermott Brereton’s hilarious reaction — gets the nod here.

It wasn’t as bad as Gerard Healy’s infamous description of the Gold Coast Suns a couple of years back, but it’s probably the closest thing we’ve had since.

CREEPIEST COMMENTARY: HAMISH MCLACHLAN

A HARD-fought contest, this one.

Bruce was stiff to miss out, but we couldn’t go past Hamish McLachlan’s stream of consciousness call while watching Sydney hard nut Zak Jones — brother of Melbourne co-captain Nathan.

“Imagine Nathan and Zak on Christmas Day in a jelly-wrestle.”

After a brief pause, Cameron Ling responded on behalf of everyone watching: “I don’t really want to imagine that.”

MOST VIOLENT INTERVIEW: BRIAN TAYLOR

OBVIOUSLY Channel 7’s Brian Taylor forgot about Jake Carlisle’s punctured lung when he swatted him with his footy record.

Was there a need to be that familiar with a bloke with his head in his locker?

BT accidentally gave Jake Carlisle a whack on a sore spot. 😬😂#AFLSaintsBrowns pic.twitter.com/C5lA2G0ZHG

— 7AFL (@7AFL) July 13, 2018

MOST CHILDISH JOKE: BILL BROWNLESS

TRIPLE M’s critics say the station’s footy coverage has long been blokey and buffoonish, and Billy Brownless did little to change those perceptions during the Richmond v St Kilda match.

When Saints forward Paddy McCartin sprayed a set shot from barely 25m out, Brownless gave us this:

“You gotta kick them. I’d kick that with me doodle, fair dinkum”

No doubt Brownless’ approval rating with 11-year-old listeners has gone through the roof.

BEST ONE-LINER: DWAYNE RUSSELL

CARLTON were horrible all year, and this line from Fox Footy’s Dwayne Russell summed it up perfectly.

When Nat Fyfe put the Dockers 53 points up midway through the second quarter, Russell exclaimed: “They need a safe word here, Carlton.”

You can hear Russell’s call in the tweet below.

Off one step!

Outstanding from Nat Fyfe.#AFLBluesFreo pic.twitter.com/iDYqCdaXUC

— AFL (@AFL) June 16, 2018

COMMENTATOR’S CURSE AWARD: JAMES BRAYSHAW

CHANNEL 7’s James Brayshaw was the victim of poor timing when praising former Kangaroo Lindsay Thomas, who he said was a lovely bloke.

While that may be true, Thomas knocked Scott Selwood unconscious in one of the cheap shots of season 2018 just minutes later.

ICYMI: Lindsay Thomas CRUNCHED Scott Selwood and it's fair to say brother Joel didn't appreciate it. How many weeks do you think Thomas will get?#AFLPowerCats pic.twitter.com/BkakOFnIBL

— 7AFL (@7AFL) April 21, 2018

Co-commentator Luke Darcy was left to ask why such a lovely bloke has such an ordinary disciplinary record.

BEST PREDICTION: WAYNE CAREY

WHY do commentators bother with pre-game predictions?

They accomplish little aside from reminding viewers that ‘experts’ have no idea what’s going on.

But every now and then, there’s an exception - and this year, it belonged to Wayne Carey.

In 63 games of AFL, Essendon’s Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti had never kicked more than four goals in a match.

But somehow, the Duck knew that was about to change.

“McDonald-Tipungwuti will do something he’s never done before. He’ll kick five goals tonight,” Carey told Seven’s pre-game show.

It turned out he was right, proving that even a broken clock is right twice a day. Long live ‘The King’.

BEST DRESSED: DERMOTT BRERETON

ONLY one man could pull off a massive grey/silver suit with a large silver tie.

Well, we’re not sure of Dermott Brereton pulled it off exactly, but it was definitely the most eye-catching outfit of 2018.

Derm 😳 pic.twitter.com/xQ1szLVczj

— Al Paton (@al_superfooty) May 18, 2018

Who wore it better? #aflcrowsdogs #foxtel #Dermott #enough pic.twitter.com/7TIzC2YXOI

— Ed Jones (@egg2883) May 18, 2018

Dermott... wooooooooooooooo!!@DermottBrereton #ricflair #foxfooty pic.twitter.com/pQLK7Wahzr

— Kim Dickmann (@KHDickmann) May 18, 2018

WORST SET OF VOTES: ROBERT WALLS

THE former Carlton champion made history when he snubbed Richmond in the votes after its crushing victory over the Dockers.

Walls, calling on AFL Nation, awarded the 3, 2 and 1 votes to Fremantle players ... despite the team kicking just 4 goals in a 77-point loss.

It raises the question: Has a team ever ended the game with more votes than goals?

Walls’ votes were:

3: N. Fyfe

2: A. Sandilands

1: L. Neale

All three were good — Fyfe was excellent — but it’s rare indeed when a team that kicks 8.4 to 0.1 in the final quarter doesn’t have a player in the top three on the ground.

BEST INJURY REPORT

COMMENTATORS trying to play doctor and diagnose player injuries has long been a bugbear for footy fans. But how about commentators playing vet?

Brian Taylor’s thorough description of an ailing seagull entangled in a passage of play during Channel Seven’s coverage of the North Melbourne v Hawthorn match may have broken new ground.

“Oh the seagull! He got injured, look, his right wing has been partially dislocated and he has to walk home — he can’t fly. He’s got a right wing that just has a little tip out of joint there. Hope he’s all right.”

Happily, Etihad Stadium confirmed the gull made a speedy recovery and was able to wing it home.

Oh no! The seagull is injured 😧#AFLNorthHawks pic.twitter.com/rX6z70AcmY

— 7AFL (@7AFL) April 22, 2018

WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE COMMENTARY MOMENT OF 2018? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.