We shouldn’t give up the Safe Schools fight, even if we’re losing

IT was well-intentioned, but this week’s petition for a watered down Safe Schools replacement did the gay community no favours, writes Cathy Anderson.

THIS week’s petition imploring the Prime Minister to fund a national bullying program to replace the controversial Safe Schools initiative for LGBTIQ students has sent the queer community into a tizz. And rightly so.

The petition by Ben Grubb, now withdrawn but signed by celebrities including Joel Creasey, Missy Higgins and Guy Pearce, used language that caused consternation by asking for “tolerance” rather than “acceptance”.

“Make no mistake of our request: we do not seek a program that seeks approval of the way certain members of our society live. We seek only mutual respect and tolerance,” the petition read.

Critics began to howl about the knee-bending, as Grubb later admitted he had been advised by a Canberra political heavyweight to tone it down in order to depoliticise the debate and make his suggestion more palatable to federal politicians.

The Safe Schools program’s federal funding will cease in June, and although Victorian and West Australian state governments will continue to fund it, it’s been dealt a savage blow.

The petition amplified a division within the LGBTI community. Some, myself included, want to keep fighting the tough fight, forcing our government and society to treat us as equals not only legally, but in all aspects of our daily lives.

Celebrities including Missy Higgins signed the well-meaning petition for a Safe Schools replacement. (Pic: Alex Coppel)

Others take the line that we’re up against it with a conservative federal government which, instead of simply legislating same-sex marriage as the majority of Australians want, offered us a hate speech-laden plebiscite instead. So maybe compromise is justifiable.

But let’s address the real elephant in the room here. At the heart of this issue is simply this: parents don’t want their kids to turn out gay. Most Australians have come around to the idea that whatever queer people get up to behind closed doors is their business. And if they want to get married, well, good luck to them. But teach kids in school that it’s OK to be different, to be attracted to the same sex or feel as though you are the wrong gender? Yeah, nah.

The Australian Christian Lobby has consistently referred to the Safe Schools program as “social engineering”, as if by educating children about LGBTI people and gender issues, there’s a risk of so-called normal kids being “indoctrinated”.

That’s just ludicrous.

If you teach kids about India do they become Indian? The assertion that “being gay” is a topic only suitable for adults is preposterous. Kids consistently learn about relationships organically – not just romantic ones, but those with friends, teammates, teachers.

I hate to break it to you, but kids see and interact with gay people every day. Safe Schools taught that we are part of Australian society. We are people. Not freaks that have to be tolerated.

The idea that someone would choose to be queer just because they learnt the word in school is ridiculous. If your kids are gay or gender diverse, they were born that way.

Teenagers rally in support of Safe Schools. From left, Nicholas (12), Sarah (14) and Anita (16) join a march in Sydney last year. (Pic: Jane Dempster/The Australian)

Being queer is not always an easy road. I arrived late to the coming out party, so I didn’t have the experience in school that a lot of kids do – feelings of rejection, displacement, low self-esteem, self-harm. But I’ve had my fair share as an adult.

We live with such entrenched homophobia in Australia that it can sometimes be impossible for young and vulnerable people to see a way forward. Our community has the highest rates of youth suicide, and bullying is an integral part of that. Any program that can limit the potential for making kids’ lives miserable sounds ace to me.

Ben Grubb’s petition, although born of good intentions, was most definitely a clumsy, half-arsed attempt to push for a Safe Schools 2.0 national policy that addresses bullying of LGBTI kids.

And it’s clear he was smart enough to try to work within the constraints of an increasingly conservative Australian society. Whether it’s fuelled by Trump-ism, Brexit, Pauline Hansonism or right-wingers such as Cory Bernardi, global social justice progression is feeling some serious push-back at the grassroots level, and it’s supported by those who hold the most power.

In his apology letter Grubb said: “Will we get anywhere if we don’t compromise, or will that just delay us even further from achieving the end goal of true equality?”

It’s an excellent point.

Ultimately, until Australians accept that it’s OK to be gay — and that kids should know and appreciate this too — we’ll never be able to have this debate without homophobic mud-slinging and the risk of those who are vulnerable becoming even more at risk.

Originally published as We shouldn’t give up the Safe Schools fight, even if we’re losing