The pre-footy game speech that made me cry

WE were expecting a standard rev up speech, but what we got was a powerful lesson in why it’s time men did more than pay lip service to the idea that violence against women is never OK, writes Mikey Cahill.

HE’s fighting back tears as he stands in front of his team-mates.

It’s not the usual turn of event for charity football game, the annual Reclink Community Cup, which pits the Rockdogs, a team of artists and musos, against radio presenters the Megahertz. It’s a day more traditionally marked by irreverence, bands and frivolity.

But our captain Glenn Maynard stands up. We think we’re in for the standard pre-game rev up, but instead he separates us into two groups — women and non-binary players on one side, men on the other.

“Why are we being separated?” asks someone, miffed.

He ignores the question and starts to talk. And what he has to say has nothing to do with football.

“I want you to look at these people, these are our friends, our sisters, our team-mates,” he says, his voice cracking.

“One in three women in their life time will suffer some kind of sexual abuse or physical abuse. One woman per week in Australia dies at the hand of their partners or ex-partners.”

His voice breaks again. Everyone is ashen-faced. Everyone has tears in their eyes or trickling down their cheeks on to red, black and yello footy scarves. We know we are part of something poignant and painful. Something more significant than a game of Aussie Rules.

“I think I’m a fairly good bloke,” he says meekly. “But it’s not enough anymore to be just a good bloke. We’ve got to do more. We’ve got to call out things when they happen so they don’t happen again. We need to prevent these things happening ... They (motions to the others) need to feel confident that we’re gonna do more.”

Players listen to Glenn Maynard’s powerful pre-game speech. (Pic: carbiewarbie.com)

Someone claps. Then everyone claps.

Kate Boston Smith is a Rockdog and singer in the band Modesty. She is undeniably moved by the speech.

“I found it really powerful when he separated us. Not because I believe any of the men on the team would make bad choices; it’s the fact that we live with this all the time. Most of us have had to deal with misconduct. Whether we talk about it openly or not, it’s part of our daily life,” she shrugs.

“There is a divide, still. It’s about power dynamics, unfortunately some people, typically men, exert their need for power with selfish acts. With that said, a guy I don’t know stopped and helped me and walked me home after I took a spill on my bike the other night.”

She is nursing a smeared purple bruise under her right eye.

“We do need to have these conversations, together. We need to point it out just how pervasive it is. We need everyone to know women and children are more at risk from people we know. The myth of the stranger? It’s a myth. How do things escalate into misconduct and points of abuse? That aggressive behaviour, it comes from a lot of small things. I’m sure if you talk to any people on the other side of the room they’ll tell you a story of misconduct,” says Boston Smith. “When leaders talk we need to listen.”

Glenn Maynard delivers his speech. (Pic: carbiewarbie.com)

Maynard is one such leader. He tours Australia presenting a theatrical show called You The Man , followed by a panel. It’s a one person show, and he visits high schools, remote Aboriginal communities (he has Aboriginal heritage) and everywhere in between.

You The Man examines the role of bystanders in breaking the cycle of relationship violence.

“I know myself very well, six weeks ago there’s no way I would have done that speech,” says Maynard. “I was doing this show up north and a boy came up after the show and said to myself and the discussion panel who were there ‘I don’t know what I’m going to go home to’. He was meaning his mum could have become the one woman murdered by her partner that week. The man in the family unit was arrested that day. That kid,” Maynard says, pursing his lips tightly, pausing to compose himself, “that kid had the courage to stand up to his dad…,” he trails off.

He says it was also the killing of Eurydice Dixon that made him want to do more. Slacktivism won’t cut it anymore. He wants to talk the talk and walk the walk, and encourage others to do the same.

When Maynard finishes speaking to the footy players, both sides of the room individually embrace one another. There’s a shift in mood. Towels are passed around to dab eyes.

This is the way men can stand up and speak up and start to make a difference.

Then the women and non-binary players lead us out on to the field in our fresh guernseys, bursting through a brittle banner, and the game begins.

The Reclink Community Cup now runs in every state. Find dates for your local game here.