The one thing the royals are still doing right
There’s a fine line between being too cool for school and being downright disrespectful, writes Kylie Lang. But when it comes to towing the social line, Prince William and Prince Harry have it all figured out.
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When the dress code is black tie, why do some people turn up in thongs? Not for them a penguin suit and closed-in shoes.
Much better to turn up looking like they’ve just rolled out of bed or been interrupted mowing the lawn.
Women are no better, making what appears to be zero effort to scrub up.
The number of events I’ve been to lately where dress codes are openly dismissed makes me wonder what’s wrong with people.
Money can’t be the issue, because I know from experience that you don’t have to spend a bomb to look it.
Online shopping, op-shopping, swapping with friends — there are myriad ways to jazz up your wardrobe and still be able to afford a drink at intermission.
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Failing to adhere to a dress code simply means that you consider yourself above the rules.
It means that you don’t respect the event organisers, the performers or your fellow patrons who have to cop an eyeful of your craggy feet and gardening clobber.
On Thursday night, one of the biggest events of the Brisbane calendar saw the esteemed Bolshoi Ballet come to QPAC for a sensational performance of Spartacus, with our brilliant Queensland Symphony Orchestra.
Granted, most people frocked up as asked, respecting the clearly specified “black tie” code, but I didn’t have to look hard to spot slovenly outfits that would be more at home on a long-haul flight from nowhere flash.
Are these people deliberately trying to stand out from the crowd or make some kind of befuddled statement against “the establishment”, or are they just bone lazy?
It’s not only at cultural events that standards continue to slip.
We’ve just had the Winter Racing Carnival and, again, dressing appropriately was far too much effort for some.
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On Stradbroke Day at Eagle Farm this month, the theme was “black and white with a touch of red”. That, in anyone’s book, does not translate into green suits, blue fascinators or purple jackets.
Years ago, I remember going to a fancy trackside marquee and a prominent “socials” scribe rocked up in tracksuit pants and desert boots — because he could, and no one was prepared to turn him away due to his somewhat influential position.
There’s a fine line between being too cool for school and being downright disrespectful and, unfortunately, too many people cross it. And it’s not only in supposedly elegant settings — I’ve lost count of the times I’ve seen shirtless blokes and shoeless women amble into cafes.
You can say that Queensland is a relaxed place, that because of our temperate climate we’re not as uptight as our southern counterparts, but that shouldn’t mean it’s OK to dress like slobs.
Lainey Loneragan lectures in manners at several Brisbane high schools and at Queensland University of Technology where she upskills graduating students in business and social etiquette.
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At 72, Loneragan has seen fads come and go but she says courtesy never goes out of fashion.
“When you accept an invitation you accept everything on it,” she says. “If it’s fancy dress and you don’t comply, that’s the absolute pits — if you’re asked to come as a big yellow bird, don’t accept the invitation unless you’re prepared to come as a big yellow bird.
“It isn’t acceptable to turn up in whatever you feel like, and if no dress code is stated, why would you not ring up and ask? It’s terribly important to find out, because otherwise you’re really insulting your hosts, who’ve gone to so much trouble. They have a vision of their function, and you’re not it.”
Loneragan acknowledges fashion has become less formal in certain situations — think dress-down Friday at the top end of town. But, even then, employees are asked to bring a jacket because if clients were to arrive in suits, then it would be “almost condescending” to greet them in only jeans and a shirt.
As for thongs, she says the only place they belong is on the beach.
What about black tie? For women, it denotes long dresses (shorter, cocktail dresses accompany lounge suits) and if men are unsure, look no further than Princes William and Harry.
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“You would never see either of them in a wing-collared shirt or coloured bow tie. It has to be a plain white dress shirt with a black bow tie. The Royals do it right.”
Perhaps there’s nothing wrong with putting your own slant on a theme, particularly if you want to get mileage out of that mauve bow tie you were forced to wear at a mate’s wedding.
But if you choose to completely disregard the expected code of dress, then do everyone a favour and stay home.
kylie.lang@news.com.au
Originally published as The one thing the royals are still doing right
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