Some women don’t have kids. And that’s OK

You never hear parents asked, “So, why did you decide to have kids?” But when a woman is childless, she is often subjected to the assumption: what is your value beyond being a mother?

Sex and the City actor Kim Cattrall has spoken about not having kids: “It’s the less that is offensive, isn’t it? Childless. It sounds like you’re less, because you haven’t had a child.” (Pic: AFP/Emmanuel Dunand)

Women without children have certainly been making news this week.

Jennifer Aniston this week said: “I’m not in pursuit of motherhood because I feel incomplete. We are complete with or without a mate, or without a child.”

In the UK, the new prime minister Theresa May fought off snide remarks about her childless status from opponent Andrea Leadsom.

And recently, American TV actor Joy Bryant of Parenthood fame declared, ‘‘I don’t have the need to breed”.

Jennifer Aniston is fed up of people trying to figure out if she’s pregnant or not. (Pic: AFP/Mark Ralston)

So why all the angst directed at childless and childfree women?

The Australian Institute of Family Studies has found the proportion of couples without children has increased from 28 per cent in 1976 compared to 37.8 per cent in 2011.

So, well over a third of Aussie couples are without kids these days, yet I find the old attitudes remain — where it’s expected we will all marry and procreate.

I support women who are childfree by choice or childless for a range of circumstances. Their reasons for not having kids are as unique as they are: some have chosen not to have children, others were unable to conceive, and then there are those women who didn’t meet a suitable partner with whom to have a family.

Having children is not for everyone. And there’s nothing wrong with that. (Pic: iStock)

What many women struggle with are questions such as, “So, why don’t you have kids?”

I don’t ever hear anyone asking parents, “So, why did you decide to have kids?”

All of this discussion comes ahead of International Childfree Day on August 1. The day began in the US in 1973 as a way of supporting those who consciously choose not to have children.

It’s designed to honour people without children and aims to get us talking about what it means to be childfree in a culture that is increasingly kid-focused.

When a woman is childless or childfree, she is often subjected to questions that ultimately boil down to one worrying assumption: what is your value beyond being a mother? In our society, we are conditioned to this norm and when women do not fit into the mould, they can feel isolated and judged by family and friends.

The lines between womanhood and motherhood are often very blurred. My aim is to help women define what their version of womanhood looks like.

Michelle Marie McGrath supports women who are childless or childfree by choice.

Originally published as Some women don’t have kids. And that’s OK