No good memories ever come from taking a family holiday

BRAGGING that your kids survived a 14-hour flight with minimal tantrums may feel good, but rather than seeking out Instagram moments we should be looking closer to home, writes Darren Levin.

EARLIER this year my wife and I were lucky enough to take our three girls to Disneyland for the first time.

I can’t tell you how much you bond with your children when you can’t afford international roaming, and you’re stuck for two hours in line for a 40-second ride.

We laughed. We cried (mainly me). We looked on in disbelief as able-bodied Americans rode mobility scooters around all day because they couldn’t be bothered walking between rides. (I know they were able-bodied because they used their legs to cut in front of me in line later on.)

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It was a trip we’ll never forget. But it was two years and thousands of dollars in the planning, and who knows when we’ll be able to stomach a 14-hour flight with three kids again? Hopefully never, says my therapist.

Unless you’re an Instagram influencer or Miranda Kerr, you’re probably not going to be having these Big Moments on the regular. So what does that leave you as a parent? Trips to the supermarket. School runs. Kids parties. Swimming lessons. The odd road trip to a mediocre country town with a Hills hoist museum and ‘Australia’s Most Awarded Shepherd’s Pie.’

Two years and thousands of dollars in the planning, and who knows when we’ll be able to stomach a 14-hour flight with three kids again? (Pic: supplied)

Though they may not seem like it at first, these are the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments that honestly matter. And if you don’t take a minute to take stock and genuinely appreciate them, you may miss out on some crucial bonding time with your child.

You’ve probably heard the famous quote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” It’s been traced back to a Readers Digest article from the 1950s, but turned up in a John Lennon song about his son Sean called ‘Beautiful Boy.’

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“Before you cross the street take my hand/Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

It’s pretty hard to imagine John Lennon doing something other than playing a white piano or being naked in bed, but it’s a reminder to find beauty in the everyday. I started doing this a lot more lately, and it’s changed my perspective on parenting in meaningful ways.

What used to be a mad dash to the supermarket on Sunday is now an opportunity to teach our twins how to find ripe avocados or navigate conflict with pushy adults. (Pic: supplied)

What used to be a mad dash to the supermarket on Sunday is now an opportunity to teach our twins how to find ripe avocados or navigate conflict with pushy adults still steaming because someone removed their constitutional right to a plastic bag. In the 28-minute window before one of the girls has a tantrum, we tell jokes, we make fart noises, we sing songs, we tactfully explain to some curious shoppers how twins with blonde and dark hair are “definitely not identical, OK?” The point is we are using a mundane activity to truly — and mindfully — connect.

Back to John Lennon, I’ve started using the school run to foster our eldest daughter’s burgeoning love of dad rock that I swear I didn’t foist upon her in the first place.

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While other parents have to endure the private hell of JoJo Siwa, my daughter forces me to listen to The Beatles, Wings, and her latest obsession, Fleetwood Mac. Things can get a bit awkward explaining the incestuous drug-addled backstory of Rumours (“What do you mean they were all married to each other, dad?”). But it’s these moments, rather than a day spent at Disneyland, that I’ll look back on when she finds even the way I tie my shoes embarrassing and blames me for alienating her from her peers.

Darren Levin is a writer, editor and wannabe dad-fluencer based in Melbourne. Find him on Twitter and Instagram.