‘My fad diet masked my eating disorder’

NIGELLA Lawson is on the money about “healthy eating” not always being what it seems. I should know — my own spiral into bulimia started with declaring I was vegetarian, writes Kerry Parnell.

SHE might be known for baking her cakes and lasciviously eating them, but I agree with Nigella, fad diets can mask eating disorders.

This week Nigella Lawson said healthy eating fads can often be a cover for eating disorders.

“A lot of so-called healthy eating is a cover-up for an eating disorder and I think people persecute themselves to what they do eat and what they don’t eat,” she told students in Toronto.

She’s long been vocal about the topic — previously saying, “There is a way in which food is used to either self-congratulate — you’re a better person because you’re eating like that — or to self-persecute, because you’ll not allow yourself to eat what you want.”

That is exactly what happened to me. When I was at university I developed bulimia and the first thing I did on my journey into eating disorders was declare I had turned vegetarian.

Now obviously vegetarianism is neither a fad nor an eating disorder, but for me it was a legitimate way of restricting my food intake in the eyes of society and symptomatic of a deeper issue. As quickly as I removed animal products from my plate, I began to delete everything else, obsessively calculating my daily calories on the back of my lecture notes. I thought about food all the time: I would go to sleep dreaming of breakfast.

Chef and author Nigella Lawson has long been vocal about the way eating “healthy” food is linked to a sense of virtue, and can be a cover for eating disorders. (Pic: Supplied)

These were not happy years. I remember lamenting my loss of food innocence and yearning for the day I would be able to eat a sandwich like other people without knowing — or caring — the number of calories it contained.

Thankfully that day did come. Now I eat healthily, but never obsessively. If I need to lose some kilos, I up the exercise and decrease the cake. Or tell myself I’m going to, anyway.

An obsession with healthy eating is called orthorexia, where someone is fixated with the quality rather than quantity of their food. According to Eating Disorders Victoria orthorexia can start with “healthy” or “clean eating”, then progress to the elimination of entire food groups.

“Whilst the causes of eating disorders are complex and involve several social, personal, environmental and genetic factors, most people don’t realise that dieting is the number one behavioural risk factor for developing an eating disorder,” says CEO Jennifer Beveridge. “Girls who diet, even only moderately, are five times more likely to develop an eating disorder.”

Clearly not everyone who follows a diet has an eating disorder, but you have to be sure your food plan isn’t masking one.

“It is important we make every effort to distinguish between preference in food choice and disordered eating,” says the Butterfly Foundation CEO Christine Morgan. “We should consider the psychology behind someone choosing a specific diet — for example is there a fear of certain food groups involved and/or is weight or appearance of concern?”

Following strict diets can screw up both your relationship with food and your mind — your self-esteem crashes when you slip-up, often causing you to binge eat “banned” foods.

Really, forget diets, just eat well and enough to stay at the weight you want.

I may have been model-thin, but I was a miserable mess. And a nightmare dinner date. That’s the skinny on it.

If you, or anyone you know is experiencing an eating disorder or body image concerns, you can call the Butterfly Foundation National Helpline on 1800 33 4673 (ED HOPE) or email [e-mail].

Originally published as ‘My fad diet masked my eating disorder’