Me getting equality won’t affect anyone’s freedom of speech

THE marriage equality debate is about, drum roll, marriage equality, not freedom of speech or political correctness, writes Alice Clarke.

Melbourne Town Hall is lit up in rainbow colours in support of marriage equality. (Pic: Mark Stewart) 'Yes' campaign launched by gay Muslim group

LAST week Tony Abbott said I should be denied the right to have my marriage recognised in Australia because “it’s the best way to send a message about political correctness and defend free speech”.

I’ve heard a lot of arguments against giving people like me equal rights, but that has to be up there among the weirdest. It is a nice change from “I personally find gay sex unappealing” and “I choose to ignore all the research about children doing well in same sex-parented families because it doesn’t fit my argument against the thousands of families that already exist”, but it doesn’t really make sense.

So, let’s talk about free speech and political correctness.

First of all, let’s cover the easy one: Freedom of speech means you can say what you want without the government throwing you in jail. Of course, there are some limits to that: you can’t spread child pornography, or incite violence. But for the most part you can say whatever you want without fearing the government will deprive you of liberty.

However, your freedom of speech doesn’t negate others’ freedom of speech. If you say something stupid, people can call you out on that. And if you say something smart that stupid people don’t like, they can call you out on that. You can then call them stupid, or call for a boycott of their products.

Just because you don’t like what someone else is saying about what you said doesn’t mean your freedom of speech is being taken from you, it just means they’re exercising their freedom of speech in return.

Freedom of speech also doesn’t mean that people have to listen to you, or that companies or individuals have to host you while you say whatever you want to say. Telling someone to shut the hell up isn’t threatening to arrest them.

Marriage equality isn’t a left/right issue, with conservatives such as Amanda Vanstone speaking out in favour...

...as well as conservative broadcaster Alan Jones.

People saying “we would like equal rights”, or “you don’t deserve equal rights because somehow you having the same rights as me would devalue my marriage” are two examples of people exercising their right to speech, whether or not you agree.

Political correctness is a more difficult issue, because everyone understands it slightly differently. I know people who think it’s ‘political correctness gone mad’ when they’re asked not to automatically describe deaf people as “deaf and dumb”, but at the same time get extremely upset if you call them “frail and elderly” because they prefer the term “older”.

What sounds like political correctness to you is usually a courtesy to someone else. Language evolves over time, and it’s easy to get stuck with a term you were brought up with. Caring about the language that’s used to reference you might sound uncool, but literally everyone does care. It’s just that when it’s a minority asking you to evolve your language, it’s dubbed “political correctness”.

Change is scary and inconvenient, and mistakes are going to be made when you’re learning new terms. But if someone says “I’d prefer it if you didn’t call me that”, it says more about you than them whether you take the change on board or just get huffy about “political correctness”.

But, back to what Bizarro Kevin Rudd (aka Tony Abbott) said: A vote against marriage equality is a vote against marriage equality. It’s not going to send a message about political correctness, because people are still going to want to be treated with the respect they feel they deserve, even if you don’t understand what the fuss is about. It’s also not going to be a vote for free speech, because you already have that, and that’s not going away even if Dave and Andrew invite you to their legally recognised wedding.

People on both sides of the argument keep trying to turn this debate into something it’s not, and literally everyone is tired of having to talk about marriage equality.

The married and engaged gays in your life are even more sick of it than you are, trust me.

But if this ridiculous $122 million dollar opinion poll goes ahead, just remember that this isn’t a fight about religious freedoms or whatever moral panic fringe groups are trying to whip you into.

It’s just about whether your neighbours, your cousins, your children, the person who cuts your hair, or the woman who writes the video game reviews for your favourite paper, has the right to be legally married in Australia. Same as you.

Alice Clarke is a freelance journalist and video games reviewer for the Herald Sun.

@Alicedkc