Male CEOs get the privileges women only dream about

DURING his first interview as CEO of the Commonwealth Bank, Matt Comyn was afforded a luxury women are yet to receive, writes Wendy Tuohy.

WHEN the scandal-dogged Commonwealth Bank appointed its new CEO, of all the questions asked there was one glaring exception — a query that would absolutely have been posed were the new big banana female.

Questions were asked about the wisdom of appointing from within, queries were put about whether after 20 years at the bank, 42-year-old Matt Comyn would really be able to change the culture. Were he a she, though, the inquiry somewhere near the top of the pile of questions would surely have been, “How will you juggle a job this big with the responsibilities of being a parent of three young kids?”

The ABC’s chief economic correspondent, Emma Alberici, who has three young children and, like many working mothers demanding jobs and completely over being asked “how do you manage the kids?”, made this point on social media shortly after Comyn’s presser.

She’s right, of course. For proof just think back five minutes to the arch reaction in more conservative circles to New Zealand’s new Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, when she announced last month that she was — shock — pregnant with her first child. While in office.

Predictably, her imminent maternal status and how this would impact her ability to continue to do her job was a hot topic of debate.

“How do you plan to juggle it all?” is something no one asked of recent English PMs Tony Blair or David Cameron, both of whom became fathers while in office, and for good reason: it seeks to undermine the idea that the person is dedicated enough to their children, and to throw into question their professional competence.

Men like Comyn never face the same line of questioning as women in similar high-profile positions. (Pic: James Croucher)

You just wouldn’t dare to ask a senior male leader that, it’s too belittling.

The assumption behind the question that will not die, but is decades past it’s use-by date is that a mother’s “proper” job is parenting, and doing it well enough requires way more time and diligence than can be afforded if she has big job too.

It is guilt and judgment-laden; and casts a shadow on the working woman’s character (what kind of mother could stand to be away that much from little kids) while managing to also insult her (usually male) partner.

No matter what the role-reality is inside their family, he is implied to be either unable, unwilling or untrusted to do the “primary” caring role still assumed to be exclusive to the mother in heterosexual partnerships. He’s reduced to the status of hopeless hanger-on, rather than active and equal child-rearer.

Thankfully, an increasing number of young, male leaders are not waiting to be asked how they juggle “it all”, but are making a point of including comments about wanting being equal parents, or least aspiring to be, alongside their work.

There is a slow, and welcome, shift towards male leaders dragging the discussion about how parents in big jobs arrange time to enjoy rich time with their kids, not just meet their physical needs, around to include them, too.

Let’s hope it isn’t just for show, but is one more sign that the ties that bind the genders into clichéd, restrictive roles, in and outside the home, are finally coming loose.