Kylie Lang: Is MAFS turning us into rude brats?

Married At First Sight’s bad behaviour may be ratings gold but is reality TV is increasingly to blame for society’s slipping moral code? Have we been brainwashed by what we watch or are we better than that, asks Kylie Lang.

Reality TV “stars” don’t have exclusive dibs on behaving badly.

There are plenty of narcissists off camera who are willing to tear others down, make ill-timed remarks and generally park their manners in the gutter.

It’s as if the filters of self-regulation that once existed — where people took a breath and considered their surroundings and the appropriateness of their words or deeds — have vanished.

Think it. Say it. Do it. Stuff the consequences.

Social media has no doubt contributed to people’s unchecked venting, but there is a popular view that reality TV is increasingly to blame for society’s slipping moral code.

If only people didn’t see “absolute brats” like Ines Basic, from Married At First Sight, who was told in no uncertain terms by a magistrate this week to shape up, then they’d behave better themselves.

In case you were sleeping or washing your hair, Basic fronted court on Tuesday after pleading guilty to driving drunk on Christmas Day.

Married At First Sight’s Ines Basic is escorted to a limousine following her sentencing for drink driving in Brisbane. Picture: AAP Image/Dave Hunt

The 29-year-old legal secretary had been drinking vodka and champagne at her sister’s house from 10am on December 25. An argument erupted — can’t imagine why — and Basic got into her car then “tapped” her sister’s vehicle that was parked in the driveway. She was screaming, “I’m going to f — king burn your f — king house down”.

When police arrived, Basic spat eye-watering abuse at them, even though they were only doing their jobs.

In sentencing her to 70 hours’ community service and disqualifying her from driving for a further three months, magistrate Deborah Vasta also said Basic was living in a “bubble of artificiality” and needed to “get perspective on life”.

So it would seem, but what about the people heckling Basic outside court? What is their excuse for acting like hooligans and feeling absolutely justified in doing so?

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Have they been brainwashed by the behaviour they’ve seen on TV?

One study, often invoked by commentators who argue reality shows are the enemy of social decorum, would suggest so.

The 2016 research, led by psychologist Bryan Gibson of Central Michigan University, points to “relational aggression” on TV being a predictor of similar behaviour in viewers.

We’re talking bullying, manipulation, backstabbing and anything that seeks to sabotage another’s relationship or social status.

Participants were asked to watch an episode each of three types of reality programs: one containing verbal and relational aggression (think MAFS or Real Housewives), one with supportive family interactions, and one a violent crime drama.

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They were then given a separate task that measured aggression, and the relationally aggressive show came out on top. Monkey see, monkey do.

If this is true, and you consider the number of people tuning into MAFS, a ratings bonanza with some episodes attracting 1.3 million pairs of eyes, then we can expect an onslaught of horrid behaviour in our homes and communities before long.

Ines Basic might have left the show, but Jessika Power is capably filling the shoes of the brat, with several others not far behind.

Married At First Sight contestant Jessika Power has displayed questionable behaviour on the show. Picture: Channel 9

But are we to seriously believe that everyone who watches these types of shows is going to mimic the behaviour displayed?

Other studies suggests that viewers are simply seeking escapism, to feel better about their own lot in life, or even get a cheap thrill from seeing strangers fail or squirm — what the Germans call “schadenfreude”, the pleasure derived by another’s misfortune.

However, what research fails to take into account, in delivering conclusions from controlled experiments, is that people are individuals who respond to situations differently.

What we take away from reality TV depends on what we bring to it in the first place, and on our motivations for watching.

I would like to think that most viewers are not sponges waiting to soak up what anyone splashes in front of them, that their moral compasses are not so skewed that they are easily led into lying, cheating and generally acting like tools.

Besides, not everyone in this country is hooked on reality TV.

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I know many people who refrain from watching it, but this doesn’t preclude them from behaving badly.

They are so consumed with looking after “number one” and being seen and heard that respect and common courtesy become casualties of their narcissism.

This is troubling because, as social analyst David Chalke says, manners are the grease that binds society. “They should be enacted because it’s the right thing to do, because it’s a polite way to help society to work.”

While manners change over time — we are no longer bowing and tipping hats — they still matter. And if you’re someone who struggles to understand what manners are, here’s a tip from etiquette guru Emily Post: “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”

Kylie Lang is a Courier-Mail associate editor.

@kylie_lang

Originally published as Kylie Lang: Is MAFS turning us into rude brats?