Dining out with kids doesn’t have to be hell on earth
Eating out with kids isn’t just convenient for families on holidays, it’s a foundational childhood experience. And it doesn’t always have to end with meatballs on the wall, writes Darren Levin.
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It’s been a long and messy year of tray baked-nuggets, Vegemite-infused spag bol, microwaved Youfoodz, and one-pot wonders of whatever random stuff is left in the fridge.
So can you really blame the parents of Australia for dining out in droves over the holidays? When you encounter us out in the wild – and, yes, things do tend to get wild – don’t roll your eyes or judge us for bringing our mannerless animals out of the home and into your safe space. Don’t shame us on social media, or – worse yet – dump all your wisdom about parenting on us while our hands are fuller than our stomachs.
Because eating out with kids isn’t just a convenient option this summer. It’s a foundational childhood experience and a reflection of the society we want to create.
In a time where tolerance is on the wane and community is fractured, restaurants always have a way of bringing us back together. I know this because I’ve spent my life in them.
Going out for dinner wasn’t an option for me growing up. My dad was a restaurateur for at least half of my life, so I spent my formative years completely immersed in hospo life, with its characters, rituals, and unique family feel.
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While my friends’ idea of adventurous eating was ordering a Filet-O-Fish once at Maccas, I tried oysters, brains, and even had one failed attempt at cleaning a squid. I learnt how to creatively express myself from hanging around the head chef, and how to wait patiently for meals in a time before screens took away our ability to just sit and think.
It’s an experience I was determined to pass on to my own kids, who have been dining out with us since they were babies. Sometimes the experience feels like a prolonged torture set to a soundtrack of Ladybug & Cat Noir. But most of the time it’s magic watching them try things we take for granted for the first time like pho, dumplings or carbonara that doesn’t taste like scrambled eggs. It also teaches them about interacting with their fellow humans. About boundaries, socials norms, and respecting personal space.
“Kids are awesome and they should be part of the dining experience,” says New York Times food editor Sam Sifton, who regularly brings his kids to ‘work’.
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“Anytime we go to a restaurant, we are entering into a social contract with everyone else in the restaurant. I’m not trying to ruin your good time, and you’re not trying to ruin mine. It’s important to model that behaviour, so kids can accept the social contract and have a good time.”
And yet the debate over whether children belong in restaurants still rages as furiously in Australia as whether Die Hard is a Christmas film, or just a movie set during Christmas. I’m sure this isn’t a debate raging in France, where there’s (presumably) terrine on the kids menu, or Spain, where families are tucking into overpriced patatas bravas and warmed olives on La Rambla at 11pm. Or maybe that’s just us dumb tourists?
Food is supposed to be messy, fun, and most of all communal. It’s why fine dining is contrived and stuffy and in a sharp worldwide decline. Even some of the most decorated chefs are pivoting to casual dining, and the ones that will survive and thrive will make sure children are included – not just tolerated – in the experience.
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It’s something I was reminded of last week when we went Pino’s, a family-run institution in Cowes. I knew things were going a bit too well when we made it through an entire meal without a tantrum. But just as we were about to leave our daughter swung her backpack around and knocked over a glass.
The restaurant’s owner, Rosa, suddenly appeared out of nowhere, whisked her up onto a stool, and began mopping up the mess.
“She’s not the first and she won’t be the last,” she said, swatting away my half-attempts to help clean the mess.
The message to my daughter was she was valued but, more importantly, that she belonged. It’s a timely one this summer as restaurants cope with an influx of families and unruly kids.
If it’s something you can’t deal with, then I’d advise picking a place without a menu you can colour in.