‘I hate Russia’: 16-year-old’s heartbreaking diary from Ukraine

The diary of a girl trapped in her Ukraine home alongside corpses has been shared on social media, and it’s truly devastating.

The heartbreaking diary of a teenage girl trapped in horrifying conditions in Ukraine has been shared on social media.

The devastating story of the girl, who survived the death of several family members including her mother, was originally told by Ukrainian gymnast Lilia Podkopayeva on her Instagram page.

The diary is from a girl named Katya from Mariupol, a place described as “hell on Earth”, and shares tragic details of death and despair amid the raging war.

According to local news reports, gymnast Podkopayeva said: “Such diaries were once written by residents of besieged Leningrad. Who would have thought that this would happen again. And who would have thought that this would be done by Russia, which has become the Horde.”

Katya’s story was also shared on Twitter by Daria Kaleniuk, executive director and co-founder of the Anti-Corruption Action Centre in Ukraine, and has since been retweeted thousands of times.

“During WWII some children were making diaries from concentration camps and occupied cities by Nazis,” Kaleniuk wrote.

“History is repeating. This is a diary of Katya, a 16-year-old girl from Mariupol, whose mother died in the basement.”

Kaleniuk posted translated extracts from the diary, here are some below:

“You know that feeling when it hurts? I once fell in love with a boy, but he didn’t fall in love with me, and I thought it hurt. But it turned out that it hurts to see your mother die in front of you.

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“My brother keeps coming up to mum, saying, ’Mummy, don’t sleep, you will freeze’.

“We will never visit her grave. She has remained in the damp and dark basement. We went to the toilet, slept, ate leftovers in the same basement.

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“Once uncle Kolya caught a pigeon, and we fried it and ate it. And then we all vomited.

“Mum held on to the last, three days before our evacuation, she died. I told my brother that she was asleep and should not be awakened. But he seems to have understood it all.

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“Our neighbour died, and we could not carry her outside, and she began to smell.

“When it got quiet uncle Kolya carried her out, and himself got killed on a trip wire. Mum cried a lot. After dad died uncle Kolya was the closest person.

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“Corpses stink so much. They were everywhere. I covered my brother’s eyes with my mother’s scarf so that he would not see this. While we were running, I nearly vomited several times.

“I no longer believe in your God. Had he existed, we wouldn’t have suffered so much.

A wrecked tank is seen as civilians are being evacuated along humanitarian corridors from the Ukrainian city of Mariupol. Picture: Stringer/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

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“My mum never, you hear, never did anything wrong. She went to church. Uncle Kolya quit smoking so that mum wouldn`t be nervous that it`s a sin. And your God took her away. The priest said my mum now serving God, but it`d be better if she were to serve him here, raising us.

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“I hate Russia. My own uncle is there. Do you know what he told me on phone today?

‘Katya? What Katya? Girl, I don’t know you. What war, what Katya?’ And then he wrote from a burner phone: ‘Katya, do not write to me. It is dangerous for me and my family. Your mum is gone.’

The Red Cross said it hoped to lead an evacuation of thousands of civilians from Mariupol, but needed concrete agreements on where fleeing residents would be escorted to. Picture: Emre caylak/AFP

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“I hate them! She was his sister!? How is that possible? … You know, I think that I will return to Mariupol. And I will live in the same place. And every time, on the same day, I will go down to the basement of a new house to lay flowers.

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“It’s also scary when children cry. You can’t be heard. These freaks searched for people in basements and killed them. Those who survived said that the Russian military were able to rape children and the elderly, and even corpses. If there is a God, why does He allow this?

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Service members of pro-Russian troops drive armoured vehicles past local residents in the besieged southern port city of Mariupol. Picture: Reuters/Alexander Ermochenko

“I don’t want to live anymore. We’ll probably be separated now. And I might not see my brother. What for? Why was this Putin saving us?

“We lived well, we even bought a car. Uncle Kolya promised to teach me how to drive. They even burned the car. And the apartment is gone.

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“I want to die, but I can’t. … hug your kids! Otherwise, you may be gone, and they will not remember your smell. If I endure and later have children, I will be hugging them all the time.”

Originally published as ‘I hate Russia’: 16-year-old’s heartbreaking diary from Ukraine