Coal in a tin foil tray: Curious case of the British BBQ

The sun has been out in the UK this week and Brits have been firing up their barbecues. But their take on an Australian favourite is truly shocking.

There are some things that Australians just do better, and barbecues are at the top of that list.

The sun has been out in the UK this week, making everyone think that coronavirus is gone and it’s safe to go out again.

I have had two barbecues, one where I was a guest and another at home on my neighbour’s set up in our shared garden.

And it’s just not the same.

Back in Australia a barbecue is something with at least four burners, but preferably six, discounting the wok function that no-one ever uses. Note to designers at Bunnings, bin it.

In the UK, they have a fascination with coal in a tin foil tray that you can buy from the supermarket then take to the park with some beers. They try to call that a barbecue.

Wrong tongs and coal in a tin foil tray are just a couple of British barbecue oddities. Picture: Supplied

While I have been a freeloader this week, I wasn’t subjected to a tin foil barbecue, thankfully.

But when I was asked/offered to help with a barbecue at my friend’s house, I was dumbfounded.

There were coals in some sort of Weber contraption that looked barely big enough to fit a piece of steak.

I didn’t know what to do with it, and lighting it was tricky until my friend’s teenage son grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and poured some on the coals to get them going. I’d call that an improvement for the stuff, which gave me memories of bad teenage hangovers.

Surprisingly, it actually cooked the meat quite well and we enjoyed the lockdown sunshine.

However there was one fatal error – the Brits are just not prepared.

Everyone in Australia knows that barbecues require extra long tongs – at least the height of an eight-year old child to avoid burning your hands.

Here there were using the standard kitchen variety which resulted in a few singed knuckle hairs.

At home, it was only a little better.

My neighbour, who has been away during lockdown, and kindly let us use his barbecue had a fake coals set up, with gas underneath.

Luckily there was gas in the bottle, which is always a danger when a barbecue gets turned on for the first time since winter.

But again, we didn’t have long tongs, so my hands are looking particularly hairless at the moment.

Brits headed to the beach in droves this week as the UK was hit by a heatwave. Picture: Getty Images

There has been a barbecue explosion this week, as the temperature hit the mid 30s, exposing a new kind of Brit.

Beaches were busier than Bondi, as the message to social distance, which was relaxed to one metre this week, was ignored altogether at Bournemouth, south of London.

Everywhere I looked, people had taken a green turn and were saying “I’m melting” like they were the Wicked Witch of the West.

The weather reminded me of an Australian summer – almost – but like Dorothy said: “There’s no place like home, they have the required length barbecue tongs.”