The three Windsor women keeping the grieving royal family together

King Charles might be the new monarch, but his wife, sister and daughter-in-law wield huge influence and he will need all three to succeed.

It was one of the saddest images of Queen Elizabeth’s final years.

She wore a face mask in church. She was all alone. Her husband had died. Shrouded in black, she looked no grander than anyone else who had just lost a loved one.

Nor did she feel it. As the Queen later wrote to the former Archbishop of York: “When you are grieving someone you deeply love, it isn’t easy when you have to do it in public.”

The royals have had to front up for the past 11 days, consoling ordinary Brits and maintaining a mask of resilience.

The Queen’s blueprint for the dignified response dates back to 1953, or perhaps further, when she dedicated the rest of her life to service for her country.

Queen Elizabeth II sits alone during the funeral of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle. Picture: Jonathan Brady/WPA Pool/Getty Images

She was largely a solitary woman in a man’s world, the keeper of the strength, to be applied to family members, or indeed the entire nation, as required.

In recent days, it’s tempting to conclude that the women royals have inherited the grit and strength so associated with the country’s mother, grandmother and great grandmother.

They haven’t tripped. They have shone in knitting the country in grief.

Take Queen Consort Camilla. She travelled around Britain with a broken toe – no complaints. She calmed her husband when he had a pen malfunction in Ireland. He was tetchy; she defused the moment which threatened to explode as something more than it ought to have been.

Camilla, Queen Consort. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

On the eve of the funeral, Camilla nailed the sentiment of 67 million Brits.

“She’s been part of our lives forever. I’m 75 now and I can’t remember anyone except the Queen being there. It must have been so difficult for her being a solitary woman … She was the only one so I think she carved her own role. I will always remember her smile. That smile is unforgettable.”

Or take Princess Anne. She was there for the last 24 hours of her mother’s life. She then escorted her mother’s coffin from Edinburgh to London.

In various coffin processions, her face has been cast in stoicism, while her three brothers (understandably) have at various times looked ready to crumble.

Princess Anne, her face cast in stoicism, has been there for her brothers, including King Charles III. Picture: Sarah Meyssonnier/WPA Pool/Getty Images

There were no outward tears, barely a red eye. Anne has been her mother’s daughter, a model in elegance and calmness, a lightning rod for so-called body language experts who compare her grace with her older brother’s occasional shows of frustration.

“I was fortunate to share the last 24 hours of my dearest Mother’s life,” Anne said. “It has been an honour and a privilege to accompany her on her final journeys. Witnessing the love and respect shown by so many on these journeys has been both humbling and uplifting.”

Or take Kate, wife of William. In meeting mourners since the Queen’s death, Kate has been an exemplar of candour and care.

She addressed the juxtaposition of the jubilee celebrations and the queen’s death. She spoke of getting not much sleep, while tending to the confusion and sadness of her three children.

There has been no pity in her admissions. She offered insights that many Britons could share in and understand. She bridged the us-and-them divide.

Catherine, Princess of Wales. Picture: Tom Jenkins/Pool/AFP

The women of the family appear to be critical pillars to the upturned realities of royalty in the absence of its long-time matriarch.

Special mention is merited for Sophie, the Countess of Wessex, a public face who has warmed wellwishers while also quietly seeking to mend the rifts between Harry, William and their spouses.

Charles’ former communications secretary Julian Payne wrote about the power of Camilla after the Queen died.

She was his strength, he said, one of the most popular royals who doubled as a kind of secret weapon for her husband. “It is this innate curiosity and interest in people that makes her such an asset to the institution,” he wrote in the Times.

“She is someone who knows how to connect the institution to the outside world because she has lived in both places … Whether it was encouraging the King to join in at engagements such as a tea dance or driving a classic car around the streets of Old Havana on an official visit to Cuba, she brought a sense of fun to the King’s work as Prince of Wales, and she will no doubt do the same in his new role.”

Veteran royal reporter Valentine Low concurred: “As those who know the King well will testify, the Queen Consort gives him confidence, cheers him up when he is despondent, helps talk him round when he needs persuading to do the right thing — and makes him laugh. Without her love and support, he would undoubtedly find the throne a lonely place.”

The next two monarchs after King Charles are expected to be male. But in the crisis of recent weeks, it’s clear that the women of Windsor have shouldered a burden with a care which makes the future of the institution (and the males within it) seem better than it otherwise would.

Perhaps the Queen always knew this. Many years ago, she might have been speaking about the royals when she said that it had been “women who have breathed gentleness and care into the harsh progress of mankind”.

Originally published as The three Windsor women keeping the grieving royal family together