Qld parents choosing co-ed schools over all-boys due to toxic masculinity

Queensland parents are choosing to send their kids to co-ed schools in an effort to avoid exposing them to a culture of toxic masculinity at all-boys institutions.

Bree Peter with sons Tommy, 11, Jake, 10, and and Leo, 8. Picture: Patrick Woods.

Queensland parents are choosing to send their kids to co-ed schools in an effort to avoid exposing them to a culture of toxic masculinity at all-boys institutions.

It comes a Sunday Mail investigation has revealed a rampant culture of misogyny, homophobia and even violence among students at Brisbane same-sex schools.

One recent graduate, who wished to remain anonymous, said he now taught at a Brisbane all-boys school after completing high school at another and toxic masculinity was “absolutely” a problem.

“I experienced it through my entire schooling life and still see it as a teacher in an all-boys school,” he said.

“Glorification of violence through fights and language surrounding rugby and other school sports was super common.”

He told The Sunday Mail homophobia was also “rampant” and, apart from standard sexual education, there was “no education” about relationships at all.

“A student in my cohort came out as bi and by the next term he had changed schools due to the bullying,” he said.

How parents are opting for co-ed rather than single sex schools. Pictured, Bree Peter with sons Tommy, 11, Jake, 10, and and Leo, 8. Photo: Patrick Woods.

“A lot more of my friends at co-ed schools were actually comfortable and normal about having friends of the opposite sex, which wasn’t the case at my school - girls were seen as potential dating partners first and friends second.”

He said more structured time spent mixing sexes in a casual environment would have greatly decreased the “othering” of girls and that his school could have benefited from including women’s issues, history and literature in the classroom.

“I didn’t feel that I needed more support but there were a number of people I interacted with who needed to be educated to find a way to view women as something other than a sex object, mother or sister,” he said.

Griffith University Toxic Masculinity Expert Lachlan McQueen interviewed recently graduated teenage boys in Brisbane and Gold Coast as part of research for his PhD.

He said a number of those had noticed a clear difference between peers who went to all boys’ schools versus co-ed schools after influencer Andrew Tate “exploded” in recent years.

“A lot of the themes started to come out during the interviews as well was that they (students from all boys’ schools) weren’t able to develop positive, non-sexual, romantic relationships with girls before that later period of puberty,” Mr McQueen said.

How parents are opting for co-ed rather than single sex schools. Picture: Patrick Woods

Mr McQueen said if there wasn’t a “massive change” in education around consent and domestic violence things would continue to get worse.

“I even talked to a guy that did go to an all-boys school, and he said that education around consent and domestic violence and all of that was always sort of flattened,” he said.

Mr McQueen said the boys who were more conservative felt men had to constantly be “pushing and leading”.

One student from an all-boys school told Mr McQueen they never “got the handle of talking to woman”.

Another said they felt being a man meant they needed to be strong, tall and muscly.

“You’re meant to be, you know, the mechanic. You’re meant to be able to do everything,” they said.

Mum of three sons Bree Peter said she was sending her kids to co-ed schools because she felt it was more reflective of a “real life” situation.

“If you don’t have sisters or cousins, then I’m not sure where else you’re going to learn how to be around girls and treat them respectfully,” she said.

Ms Peter said she would have conversations with her kids about how to deal with any inappropriate content they may come across but that she would not be allowing them to have technology for the “foreseeable future”.

Bree Peter with sons Tommy, 11, Jake, 10, and and Leo, 8. Picture: Patrick Woods.

“I worry about the content being viewed by boys. The online world is very misogynistic,” she said.

“To me, there’s a very obvious link between the increasing toxic masculinity and teenagers using their screens between 6-8 hours a day. We know the content they’re viewing is unhealthy and dangerous.”

Ms Peter said there had been an increase in popularity of influencers who publicly exhibit unhealthy versions of being ‘fit’.

“The other thing I teach them is to speak up for people, I was talking to my son yesterday about people being mean to a boy, and I said, you could be the one to stick up for him.”

“As parents we allow our boys to show emotions. If they’re sad of course, that’s okay.”

Ms Peter said she taught her boys to celebrate amazing women in the world by reading books to “challenge stereotypes”.

“If it’s just in an all-boys school, they’re only seeing boys achieve things.”

Mother of two sons Viktoria Rice said she had chosen to send her teenage boys to co-ed high schools but that it was a “big thought process”.

“I, myself only ever went to an all-girls school from prep through 12, so growing up, I kind of knew what that environment was like,” she said.

Ms Rice said when they looked into all boys schools for her younger son it “wasn’t right”.

“I could feel straight away. It wasn’t right. It was too masculine,” she said.

“It had more woodwork labs than science labs.”

Ms Rice said she felt boys benefited from having girls be a part of their schooling.

“They’re not trying to just impress the lads. They’re also trying to assimilate with the girls and that requires a shift,” she said.

ACU Institute of Child Protection Studies Research Assistant Gabrielle Hunt said teachers had reported increases in misogynistic type behaviours at school, including in all boys schools.

“I think maybe what’s happening in all boys schools in particular because there’s not other girls or other gender diverse people present… there’s not those kind of social barriers or social checks there,” Ms Hunt said.

Ms Hunt said a more “comprehensive sex education” was her number one recommendation to address the issue.

“We have a lot of really quality research to show that comprehensive sex education is really effective, both at improving health outcomes for young people, but also addressing harmful and abusive sexual behaviours and sexual harassment in schools as well.”

Teacher’s Professional Association Queensland President Scott Stanford said during his time teaching at all boys schools, many would include female staff in boarding houses which “helped”.

“I have seen a lot of work go towards that (toxic masculinity) exactly, looking after that sort of thing, and trying to stop that,” he said.

Youth Advocate Daniel Principe who works with young boys said these were broader cultural challenges that aren’t localised to one school or one postcode or one type of school

“I think the issues regarding increasing hostility in increasing ways to harm others through a tech world is making pre-existing attitudes even more inflamed so I think these attitudes have always existed but I think the tech and some of the ideas and influences are making this a far more real problem now,” he said.

“I am yet to go to a school that is co-ed or single sex where the same challenges are not existent, these issues are everywhere.”

“Sometimes you hear about it from a single sex school, sometimes it’s a co-ed school sometimes its state, sometimes it’s private and I think what we have to stay away from is jumping on a media pile on about that particular school, or that particular type of school because these are challenges that are cultural and we have to address them culturally.”

“There is no school that is immune from toxic influencers, pornography, from degrading racist comments, from misogynistic remarks, from coercive controlling relationships and love bombing like this is happening everywhere.”

Originally published as Qld parents choosing co-ed schools over all-boys due to toxic masculinity