14yo daughter lured into world of sending explicit pics, video

A mother who thought she was vigilantly monitoring her daughter’s social media was horrified her teen had been sending intimate photos and videos to strangers to help build an online “score”.

A mother who thought she was vigilantly monitoring her daughter’s social media was horrified her teen had been sending intimate photos and videos to strangers to help build an online “score”.

The mother, who wanted to be known as Nicole to protect her daughter, is speaking out to warn other parents how vulnerable young teens are to harm online and communicating with criminals.

“There is no choice with what we’re being exposed to,” Nicole said.

“The money and the politics behind social media, the amount of money that people are making, sitting up in their offices in Facebook and Snapchat or wherever and they’re kind of just feeding everybody all of this stuff.

“We wonder why a lot of our kids have sleep and behavioural issues.”

Nicole said her daughter Jasmine (not her real name) started asking about getting her own social media accounts at age 12.

At 13, in line with existing age of access rules, she signed up to Facebook and by 14 began using Snapchat, TikTok and Instagram.

“I was always really hesitant and really cautious around letting her get social media,” Nicole said.

“We had a lot of conversations about why it was unsafe, why it wasn’t a thing she needed at her age.

“Once they get one they can justify why they should be able to get all of them.”

Nicole monitored her daughter’s accounts on her own phone, but there was a lot of content to manage.

“Jasmine’s” ordeal played out on Snapchat.

“(Jasmine) said I’m only going to have my friends and people that I got to school with on there and I can be responsible,” Nicole said.

“It was going fine for a while. It just added so much extra time to my life.

“I’m not complaining about that because of course I’m here to keep her safe.

“But when you’re trying to monitor your own social media stuff as an adult, and then have to monitor your child’s on top of that, it gets exhausting.”

Nicole said despite assurances from her daughter about only talking to people she knew, Jasmine began communicating with strangers on Snapchat, with conversations and content turning explicit.

She said it was driven by Jasmine’s desire to increase her Snapchat score, a number given to users based on how many snaps they send and receive to other accounts.

“I thought I was on top of it but she had added a whole heap of people on Snapchat, people she didn’t know, and then started feeling pressured to send and receive these photos and videos,” she said.

Nicole said her daughter had kept the messages a secret for about a month before her horrifying confession as she was due to start back at school for term one this year.

“I noticed that something was a bit different about her. She was more emotional than normal and I couldn’t put my finger on it and then it all came out,” she said.

“I was absolutely gutted because I’m one of those parents who talked to my friends about them being more aware of what their children are doing on social media.

“I thought I’d done everything right.

“I thought I had educated her and had the conversations.

“I dropped the ball and I obviously hadn’t been monitoring it enough.

“I felt really bad. I felt like I’d let her down.”

“Jasmine” has switched to Instagram and Facebook.

Nicole said Jasmine had eventually blocked all the Snapchat accounts she had been exchanging intimate messages with, a list of usernames they then reported to the eSafety Commissioner and the Australian Federal Police who had the accounts deleted.

The incidents were also reported to the Department of Child Safety as the messages involved the creating and sharing of child exploitation material.

Nicole said her daughter had not been on Snapchat since, but she had restarted using Instagram and Facebook.

“Her words initially were, ‘I’m actually quite scarred by this, and I don’t want anything to do with social media’,” she said.

“I’m very fortunate that she came and spoke to us about it as heartbreaking as it was.

“It’s a very serious thing, a lot of kids don’t feel like they can talk to anyone about it.

“We’re losing teenagers chose to suicide, because they don’t feel like they can talk to anyone about things that they may have done wrong on social media.”

Nicole said if the age of access to social media was lifted from 13 to 16 and enforced, her now 15-year-old daughter would not yet have been exposed.

“I think it would have made a huge difference because at 16, you’re able to talk to your kids more, you can give them more information, more detail about what they could be potentially up against and how to best protect themselves from being sucked in by all of the horribleness that is social media,” she said.

“At 16, you’ve got more of a chance of saving them from this.

“There could be a fair bit of push back but I think when it comes to social media something needs to be done because it’s out of control and it’s only getting worse.

“Don’t just take things off them.

“They need to know why they need to know why you’re worried.”

Originally published as 14yo daughter lured into world of sending explicit pics, video