When did we decide dogs should be seen, not heard, and pee not poo

When did we decide that dogs should no longer be allowed to do the things dogs do? That they shouldn’t bark, dig, howl, or even poo in public?

When did we decided dogs shouldn’t be allowed to just act like dogs?

When did we decide, as a society, that dogs should no longer be permitted to do the things dogs do? That they shouldn’t bark, or dig or pace or howl, or even poo in public?

That they should be doped-up on Prozac or Valium if they fret for us when we’re away or get frightened by storms, nervous about other dogs or, God forbid, do another thing dogs have done forever, ark up at each other?

That dogs should be seen but not heard; pee but not poo?

There’s a story in the fishing village I live in, of an old, local fisherman who walked his equally old dog on the beach every day.

On every walk the dog relieved its bowels on the sand, and the fisherman — not a biodegradable dog poo bag carrying type — would walk on.

On witnessing this horror one morning, a mortified holiday-maker shouted at the fisherman: “Hey mate, your dog just s**t on the beach!!!”

“Dog s***s on the beach every day, has for 14 years,” the fisherman reportedly quietly replied, barely looking up, and walked on, leaving the steaming pile exactly where it was, and where the tide would inevitably sweep it up and suck it out to sea.

Nobody would argue for a minute that dog poop should be left for people to step in, fouling pavements, paths, parks or beaches but maybe, just maybe, the outrage surrounding dog poo has become the greater stench.

And that the pressure on dog owners to keep their companions quiet at all times — lest they upset the neighbours through their only means of communication, barking — has perhaps contributed to what we are seeing now, a city full of Prozac pups and doped-up dogs?

Doped dogs also don’t demand multiple walks a day, hours of free running or annoy us with barking as we try to work from home and wrangle conference calls, as we yo-yo in and out of Covid lockdowns and work from home one week and the office the next. They, mostly, sleep.

It’s somewhat ironic that, as we lavish attention on our dogs by way of cute coats, quirky grooms, expensive toys and even doggie biscuits made to mimic those of our own, we are asking they stop doing what doggies do. What doggies have always done.

But then again, we have never had a Covid pandemic before; with dogs having their owners home all week, one week, and in the office the next.

And try finding a free or cheap ‘mongrel’ pup these days; once offered up by neighbours’ whose bitch had been ‘got at’ by a roaming (entire) male dog.

Mixed breed puppies were once a dime-a-dozen, with the unfortunate owners desperate to find homes.

Not so now. Pound and rescue dogs are hard to secure and often have long wait lists and complicated application processes, with a significant percentage of available dogs seemingly falling into the bull terrier or bull arab (many with sad or troubled histories, or behaviour issues) breeds.

Purebred pups typically come with a price tag in the several thousands, and even so-called designer, mixed-breed dogs (think the increasingly popular Cavoodle) can sell for more than $8000.

For better or worse, desexing has largely done away with what we knew as ‘mongrels’ and ‘mutts’.

And, for better or worse, dogs are being drugged to better suit our lifestyles, as we try to manage the Covid yo-yo and also keep them calm, and help them cope.

We really are all in this together.