Wendy Tuohy: There’s no need to shame mothers for reaching for the wine

THERE is no need to shame so-called “sandwich women” who reach for the wine at 6pm — we already wish we didn’t need it, writes Wendy Tuohy.

THERE is no need to shame so-called “sandwich women” who reach for the wine at 6pm.

We feel bad enough about needing it — even if we love that taste of relief.

“I am a big girl, shouldn’t I be able to handle all this without a liquid security blanket?” crosses your mind.

Still, for me and for many women who spoke to the Sunday Herald Sun about the tax of juggling “it all” — kids, jobs, homes and family logistics — and to doing it well, wine is a tiny escape hatch and pressure valve.

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Wine is an escape hatch for stressed women.

As another full-on day stretches into the night, the screw cap opening is the cue to exhale.

You’re grateful for the chance to stay engaged with work as well as enjoy motherhood, when earlier generations didn’t have the choice. But ticking off the endless to-do list can be soul-destroying.

If your partner, if you have one, is living with the common conception that the home is “woman’s work” (as statistics show much of Australia still believes) there is no choice but to Just. Keep. Going.

The wine is a “crutch”, yes. But at “madness hour” it helps hold you up.

And when you’re working “part-time”, and possibly finding your work regarded as a “hobby”, and people expecting you to do all the “stay-at-home” mum stuff too, a glass to keep going can feel like the “friend” many women describe it as.

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If you’re working full time, it can buffer the guilt of not being able to be at everything, of rushing children to and from things when you’d love a gentler pace.

Probably, it’s the sugar hit that comforts. Partly, it’s the “reward” as you kick off the work shoes and hit the chopping board.

The first glass can give you the little fuel hit to smash out dinner and clean up, knowing you still have stacks more chores to come. The second glass turns off your mind, stops the mental list.

When I read the recent article Did Drinking Give Me Breast Cancer?, I decided to chuck wine o’clock for good.

It’s hard, it’s good. And I’m not alone.