Abby Gilmore’s Jake Stringer revelations exposed misogynist attitudes towards WAGs

FORMER footy WAG Abby Gilmore has done us all a favour by blowing the whistle on her ex-fiance Jake Stringer, but instead she’s been mocked for opening up on her pain, writes Wendy Tuohy.

Abby Gilmore. pictured with children Arlo and Milla, has been subjected to some appalling commentary. Picture: Jay Town

THERE is something broken in a culture that lets young women know they should expect to receive poor treatment if their partner is a footy hero.

But, as reflected in the nastiest comments levelled at former ‘WAG’ Abby Gilmore, that is an opinion held by plenty.

WAG REVEALS TRUTH BEHIND SPLIT FROM STRINGER

The demeaning stuff some have come out with should be called for it is: sexist victim blaming.

At the weekend, Gilmore told the Herald Sun how deeply distressed she had been by the alleged repeated infidelity and gambling habit of her former partner (father of her two young girls), Bulldog player Jake Stringer.

She revealed how she suffered depression after being sidelined by Stringer’s former club, having raised concerns about his gambling problem, and after learning that her then fiance was repeatedly unfaithful via pictures sent from his very young lovers.

Jake Stringer and Abby Gilmore in happier times, before she discovered that he cheated on her while she was pregnant. Picture: Michael Klein.

One of the saddest lines in her interview was when she said: “Because I was a WAG, we get put under this umbrella that you deserve it, because you signed up for it.”

It was shocking to read how some young women feel that men are given permission to treat them the way Stringer allegedly treated his partner of 10 years; because they “deserve” it.

How awful to learn that some live well aware of an attitude that WAGs are considered less worthy of fidelity or decency because elite players are entitled to behave how they want towards women.

That a young woman with everything going for her and two healthy little kids confess she understands that by getting involved with a footy star, you are expected to quietly suck grief up is appalling.

But the nasty comments levelled at Gilmore for speaking out about her pain were worse.

Criticisms of Gilmore included: “Sounds like the money tap has been turned off,” and, “best admit your mistakes in planning and wanting two kids under the age of 4 as a 22 yo”.

“(The) age you got together is very young, lack of maturity, making major decisions that affect other lives and having children when clearly you should not,” was the verdict of another.

“You make your (sic) bed you lay in it epically (sic) if you bring kids into this world,” said another.

There were plenty more from people willing to commit to print that they see young women who date footballers as fair game for maltreatment.

The single mother of two should be thanked for blowing the whistle on toxic attitudes in the footy world. Picture: Tim Carrafa

OUR DAMNING DISRESPECT FOR WOMEN

It should be surprising, but if you hang out a bit online you will know these kinds of views are still not uncommon. They need to be called out, and loudly.

To see many angry people jump in Gilmore’s defence and state the obvious, that the perpetrator of the appalling treatment is the one who has responsibility, was something of an upside.

It’s only by acknowledging this undercurrent of sexist attitudes to sport stars’ young partners that we can start to combat it.

Abby Gilmore has done us a favour blowing the whistle on this toxic relic of a view about women — that if they’re “lucky” enough to snare a sport star, they’re fair game.

Hopefully, her honesty and refusal to stay quiet means another shift in attitudes to women that have been lamentably, stubbornly slow to change.