Victorians, it’s time to celebrate our bogan culture

BOGANS have had some bad publicity. But with the unveiling of the Big Bogan statue, let’s celebrate these great Aussies and hope the bogue stays in vogue, writes SUSIE O’BRIEN.

Glenn Robbins as WAYNE with Robyn Malcolm as JULIE in Upper Middle Bogan Picture: Supplied

LOCK up your daughters. Tune the air guitar. Comb the mullet. The Bogan is Back.

Bogans around the globe are celebrating the erection of the 3.6m Big Bogan in Nyngan, the central NSW town that’s at the heart of — where else — the Bogan Shire local government area.

Sporting thongs, a singlet, a Eureka tattoo and a mullet, this mighty statue is attracting considerable attention.

Bogans have had a fair bit of bad publicity lately, mainly because of their bad behaviour while on Contiki tours in Bali; although I admit most of that negative press was my fault.

So I think it’s time to celebrate bogan culture and all it stands for.

Let’s fight back against organic vegetables, weekend cyclists, 2XU compression tights and Ralph Lauren polo shirts (unless they’re rip-offs bought in Thailand — designer knock-offs are very bogan).

Victoria, I reckon, needs to reclaim its proud status as the bogan capital of Australia. After all, we have not one but two places on the list of top bogan places in Australia as voted by News Corp staff: Dandenong and Moe.

The Big Bogan statue in Nyngan.

We are home to two of the most revered beacons of boganity: the MCG and Crown. Bogans love booze, betting, and trying to convince bouncers that hoodies are formal wear.

We also have the Grand Prix — which is another celebration of boganness involving fast cars, scantily-clad women and lots of alcohol promotions. The bogan disapproves of drink driving but approves of any sporting event sponsored by a brewing company.

Victoria is also home to Shane Warne, arguably the most adored Bogue of all.

He’s a bit of a metrosexual, like many male bogans, who think they’ve made it because they can afford to pay $89 for a Christian Audiger T-shirt. But luckily having Botoxed face and expensive highlights doesn’t stop Warnie from behaving like an idiot while drinking in public

Bogans love the way he pashed a beer glass and fondled his missus at Royal Ascot. Bogans celebrate Warnie for smoking while being sponsored by Quit. No one tells bogans what to do — even if they’re paying them at the time.

Victorian bogans are also proud of the fact that our state is home to Sam Newman, watering holes such as the Burvale Hotel, a suburb affectionately named after a condom (Franga) and Mad Monday celebrations.

Men getting drunk and dressing up as women is a very bogan pastime.

Ultimately, bogans feel a sense of relief and satisfaction every time they drive past the giant Windsor Smith billboard outside the DFO in Essendon, just near the airport.

They know they are home.

Michala Banas as Amber in Upper Middle Bogan.

However, there is there is no doubt the bogan is under threat. Pubs across the state that used to cater for men in hi-viz vests and work boots have ripped out the VB signs and replaced the vinyl bars stools with banquette eating.

The male bogan isn’t impressed. He doesn’t want to sit on pale blue faux suede bar stools and who can blame him.

Similarly, milkbars everywhere are being replaced by trendy cafes with plantation hardwood boxes as seats and coffee sacks hung on the walls.

The bogan isn’t happy. He wants his meat pie and Red Bull from an old-style joint with Chiko roll posters on the wall showing a leggy blonde riding a Harley, not a girl with unflattering glasses and the top button done up on her shirt.

The male bogan doesn’t approve of women who do up too many buttons.

Even bogan heartland areas are being gentrified, meaning houses are going for more than $1 million, pricing bogans out of the market.

The bogan doesn’t like to pay too much for his or her house, preferring to keep lots of spending money for conspicuous consumption.

But don’t despair. Among the doom and gloom there are some people dedicated to keeping the bogan dream alive.

Leading the pack are the Bogan Bingo boys, who this month are celebrating 10 years of taking bogan culture with air-guitar competitions, flannel shirt fashion parades and dodgy dancing to Acca Dacca.

There’s also the fabulous Museum of Australian Democracy, which houses the original Eureka flag. Bogans love the museum but want to know why there’s no tattoo parlour to complete the experience.

And of course there is that excellent compendium of bogan life and all its “maxtreme” glory, Things Bogans Like.

Now, I am obviously having a bit of a laugh here, but I am also trying to make a serious point.

As Upper Middle Bogan showed us, at its heart bogan culture is a celebration of sound working-class values. It’s about having a job, a house and a solid family.

It’s a celebration of traditional Australian culture, buying Australian made (unless the foreign stuff is cheaper) and flouting dominant middle-class norms.

It’s about refusing to kowtow to trendy inner-city hipsters who look down on the bogans’ outer suburban addresses and children with made-up names.

Ultimately, it’s based on the sound knowledge that kids raised on the Herald Sun, meatlovers pizza and general admission at the ’G will win out over those who grew up with The Age, chorizo pizza and the MCC Long Room every time.

Long may the bogue stay in vogue.

SUSIE O’BRIEN IS A HERALD SUN COLUMNIST

Facebook.com/NewswithSuse and blog Susieobrien.com.au

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