Susie O’Brien: Who will be first to deface Dan Andrews statue?

Most Victorians are still triggered by the darkest era in our state’s recent history, when everything was shut and we were fined for going for a walk more than once a day. So who’ll be the first to deface the Dan Andrews statue?

If Dan Andrews had any integrity he would refuse a statue in his honour. Picture: Luis Enrique Ascui

How long do you think the statue of former premier Daniel Andrews is going to last in the CBD?

Who’ll be the first to deface it?

Pigeons? Liberal voters? Feminists objecting to the show of white male privilege? Colonialists knocking him off at the knees like Captain Cook? Or perhaps Jeff Kennett, who dreamt up the idea of commemorating premiers who reach 3000 days in office back when he had a chance of reaching the milestone himself?

Sadly for Jeff, he was voted out before he reached statue status.

Confirmation that planning for the statue is under way will anger many Victorians who are now burdened by the Andrews-era covid debt that will reach $187bn by 2028.

Confirmation that planning for the statue of Dan is under way will anger many Victorians. Picture: Getty Images

Spending $100,000 commemorating yet another man for merely doing his job (badly) is the last thing Victorians need right now.

Most of us are still triggered by the darkest era in our state’s recent history, when schools, workplaces and playgrounds were closed and we were fined for going for a walk more than once a day.

We are commemorating yet another man for merely doing his job (badly). Picture: Getty

Even Andrews said he didn’t care about joining John Cain Jr, Rupert Hamer, Henry Bolte and Albert Dunstan in the past premier’s statue club.

When Andrews reached 3000 days in office 18 months ago, he dismissed the idea: “People who spend a lot of time talking about legacy usually spend not enough time actually building one,” he said.

If Andrews had any integrity he’d reject the offer of a statue outright, and not just because there are already 570 statues of men in Melbourne. Picture: Jake Nowakowski

What hypocrisy that the statue is now going to be created using taxpayer money.

What’s it going to look like? Will Big Dan in a North Face jacket preside over Fed Square like Saddam Hussein in Baghdad?

Pull his arm and he’ll urge you to “get on the beers”.

Will Big Dan in a North Face jacket preside over Fed Square like Saddam Hussein in Baghdad? Picture: Getty Images

Or perhaps we’ll see him with two fists in the air, grinning idiotically like he did after winning the 2022 election?

If Andrews had any integrity he’d reject the offer of a statue outright, and not just because there are already 570 statues of men in Melbourne, but because there is nothing worth commemorating about his 3200 days in office.

The fact that this is going ahead is an absolute disgrace.