Susie O’Brien: What Meghan and Harry’s Virtual Event Request form should say
Prince Harry and Meghan are officially financially independent from the royal family. Here’s Susie O’Brien’s hilarious take on the couple’s bizarre list of demands for paid speaking arrangements.
Susie O'Brien
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Extracts from Meghan and Harry’s “Virtual Event Request Form” have been leaked online. But the full rider laying out the rules governing their new careers as public speaker hasn’t been made public.
Here’s what it could – or should – say...
Thank you for considering Meghan and Harry for a public speaking engagement.
Payments will be around $1 million per speech. The royal couple, who want to inspire
others to be as socially aware as they are, will require payment of around $10,000 per word
upfront in a Swiss offshore bank account.
Those introducing the couple must have reputations as visionaries and will need to be willing to appear for free.
Meghan and Harry require a list of guests, names, social media reach and income bracket
for all audience members.
Those from disadvantaged backgrounds will receive preference from this socially-minded
couple, as long as they pay the same as everyone else.
There will be no mention of the following: Megxit, their feud with the British press or their
court action against free speech.
But if paid enough, Meghan will talk about the pain of her relationship with her father and
Harry will talk about losing his mother. (Extra payment required for tears and upcoming
book extracts.)
If required, Meghan could draw on her Vogue editor stint and share stories from her left-
wing woke celebrity friends who will remind others of the need to be “self-aware” and
“humble”.
The couple could also talk about the need to save the planet and “watch every footprint” — if
needed they can arrive by private jet to specific locations for appearances.
They can also talk about the need to combat the institutionalised racism of their colonial
past (make sure you use royal titles when introducing them for this speech).
If paid enough through her charity arm, Meghan will talk about how she aims to be “real” in
everything she does. The higher the fee, the more authentic she is willing to get.
Call today and hear one of the world’s most famous women talk about how she doesn’t
have a voice as a woman of colour! Learn about how to monetise royal titles through TV
deals!
And listen to this famous pair “shine a light on hardship” via video link from their $24 million Santa Barbara mansion!
When negotiating, please remember to use gender-neutral pronouns and address Meghan
first to reverse centuries of women’s discrimination.
Meghan and Harry — the world’s first bi-racial billionaire power couple — are here to inspire
you to live a better life today! Call now!
Susie O’Brien is a Herald Sun columnist