Susie O’Brien: Sex assaults aren’t lies to ‘punish’ men

Nearly half of Australian men think sexual assault allegations are made to punish blokes - and the new generation is distressingly continuing the trend, writes Susie O’Brien.

Nineteen women dead so far this year, and counting. Sixty-nine killed last year. How many more have to die or be assaulted by men before attitudes change?

The deaths are the horrific endpoint of a continuum of violence against women that start with catcalls on the street and end with women being bludgeoned to death in basements by their ex-boyfriends.

So it’s frightening to hear that nearly one in three young men don’t believe women who say they’ve been raped and nearly half think sexual assault allegations are often made to punish men, a new survey shows.

What the hell is going on?

The National Community Attitudes towards Violence against Women Survey also suggests one quarter of young men think it’s flattering to persistently pursue someone who isn’t interested and two in five think it’s natural for a man to be in control of his partner in front of his friends. One in five also believe a man should take control of relationships.

Nineteen women have died at the hands of their partner this year.

Clearly, a certain group of young men feel they have the right to control, dominate and, yes, abuse the women they are intimate with.

And they dismiss claims of sexual assault and rape as women changing their mind, asking for it or making it up.

It’s frightening but not surprising.

After all, this is the generation learning about sexual norms from pornography – 88 per cent of which shows violence towards women.

It’s no wonder the Australian Bureau of Statistics has found teenagers and pre-teens are now the perpetrators of 25 per cent of all sexual assaults. From 2012-13 to 2013-14, sexual assaults by youths aged ten to 19 increased by an alarming 36 per cent.

Today we also read of the woman raped by Australian cricketer Alex Hepburn, who revealed her assault was part of a sex conquest game.

The survey of attitudes published today shows young people aged 16 to 24 – especially young men – are more willing to accept gender equality in the public sphere than in their private lives.

Gender inequity is widely accepted as a key precursor to violence against women.

It also shows 45 per cent of young men and 29 per cent of young women think sexual assault allegations are a common way of getting back at men.

Compared to 2013, the survey shows some improvement in overall attitudes, but problem areas remain, such as the one in five who think sometimes a woman can make a man so angry he hits her when he didn’t mean to and one in six who think domestic violence is just “a normal reaction to day-to-day stress and frustration”.

The suggestion that rape allegations are cooked up for women to get attention or punish men must be urgently dispelled.

Yes, some people – both women and men - do make up sexual assault allegations, but the much bigger problem is the under-reporting of real assaults.

One analysis of more than ten years research on the topic concluded that between two per cent and ten per cent of sexual assault claims are false.

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Compare this to a 2006 ABS study which found 80 per cent of sexual abuse victims do not report their abuse.

Alarmingly, research shows some of those who believe this are lawyers and police officers, which is believed to be one of the reasons for the massive under-reporting of abuse.

More must be done to challenge gender inequality and sexism in all forms. Men and women must speak out when they hear and see violent attitudes and acts. No more should we stand by while women are dying and being abused in this way.

It all starts with challenging the assumptions revealed in today’s research. These views and not only misguided and wrong, they’re deadly.

Thanks to the Counting Dead Women researchers from Destroy the Joint for keeping track of the women killed by men.

If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit www.1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency call triple-0.

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