Susie O’Brien: Parents, not children, are the new school bullies
School bullies these days are more likely to be the mums and dads, not the students. It’s now so bad that some schools are banning parents from their grounds for “security”, writes Susie O’Brien.
Susie O'Brien
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Once upon a time, the kids were the delinquents and the parents were the goody-goodies. Now the school bullies are more likely to be the mums and dads, not the students.
This week everyone was talking about Wamberal Primary School’s ban that stops parents from walking their kids into class.
The parents from this NSW central coast school have been forced to wait at “family meeting areas” and must not go on to school grounds unless they are signed in as visitors.
The school said it was due to “security reasons”.
Parents, who say there’s no need for the ban because they’re “not ferals or anyfink like that”, have gone fully feral at the idea of the school telling them what to do.
They’re outraged at being denied the chance to harass teachers about homework grades and class seating plans, hassle the principal about which teacher their kid is getting next year and pick their child’s friends.
The school originally tried to mollify parents by getting a coffee van for the meeting area, then overturned the ban late yesterday after irate parents contacted the media.
It’s a whole new world. When I was a kid the only thing we weren’t allowed to do at school was swing upside down on the monkey bars if we’d forgotten to wear undies and have nit races during class.
No one had yet thought about banning our parents from doing anything.
I’m pretty sure teachers in the late 1970s were happy for kids to be picked up from the playground by anyone anytime, as long as it was before dark. And they encouraged us to walk home alone just to get rid of us.
Back then, parents could smoke on school grounds and drink at school functions. No one gave them frowny face notes for putting Twisties sandwiches and 20c worth of mixed lollies in their kids’ lunch boxes.
My, how things have changed.
These days, teachers are struggling, not because of the kids, but because of the parents.
Mummy Iknowbest and Daddy Mychildisgifted don’t recognise the authority of teachers anymore. They think they know better. They threaten legal action if their child is suspended, offer to do detention for their kid in their place and question every grade, class allocation and homework task.
Then they wonder why their kids have no resilience, independence or teachers who like them.
There’s no doubt some parents need to be reined in because they don’t know how to behave.
In the US, one Latino father attended a meeting at his kid’s school to discuss concerns about diversity and acceptance issues. He was speaking to the group about his family’s experience with racism when he was interrupted by another parent. “Why didn’t you stay in Mexico?” the school dad yelled at him.
Such behaviour has led to schools bringing in a raft of rules to stop mums and dads from scrapping in the soft play area at pick up time, getting drunk and having punch-ups at social nights and slagging, sledging and abusing others at school sports days.
In Houston Texas, a school even brought in a dress code for parents because one mother turned up wearing a T-shirt dress with Marilyn Monroe on it and a headscarf.
The code stipulates: No shower caps, no hair rollers, no pyjamas or outfits that look like pyjamas, no torn jeans exposing body parts and no leggings that “show the bottom”.
One mum interviewed on the news had useful suggestions for parents at the school: “I visualise clothes that are not sexually suggestive,” she said. “And not wearing things that might encourage or suggest gang activity.”
Well, that’s helpful isn’t it? Glad they’ve cleared that up. I’ll make sure I stop doing pick-up in my Comanchero crop top from now on.
Other schools have banned parents from using the school car park because of road rage, bad driving and squabbles over car spaces.
Another school banned parents from using mobile phones in the school grounds because parents were ignoring their children.
The English primary school said parents were too engrossed to “smile warmly and give them a hug”.
The school said they hoped the policy would help children develop robust mental health and a richer vocabulary. How ridiculous.
If my kids’ school tries that they’ll hear my rich vocabulary, that’s for sure. It’s up to parents now to clean up their act, treat teachers with more respect and stop wearing shower caps to pick-up.
Susie O’Brien is a Herald Sun columnist