Susie O’Brien: Is the world ready for ‘kooky’ King Charles?

There is much support for the Queen but is anyone prepared for King Charles — an activist king preaching about the dangers of modern art and the ancient practice of hedge laying?

As the global outbreak of mourning for Prince Philip has shown, there’s a lot of support for Queen Elizabeth the Second.

But is there as much excitement about the prospect of King Charles the Third — eccentric organic farmer, climate change campaigner and avid gardener?

I doubt it. Charles has had 60 years to prepare for being king, and he’s chosen to spend some of it talking to vegetables.

I guess he had to do something. Waiting for your mother to die so you can start your life’s work can’t be much fun. Given that the Queen could live for a few years yet, Prince Charles is going to be well into his 70s before he becomes king.

While there are some who think Charles should demonstrate his commitment to the throne by passing it on to his son William immediately, it’s not likely to happen.

Waiting for your mother to die so you can start your life’s work can’t be much fun. Picture: Getty Images

So, what can we expect from King Charles (and are we ever going to stop thinking about spaniels when we hear that name)?

One royal insider says that in contrast to his mother’s lack of political interference, we can expect Charles to make “heartfelt interventions” in national life in areas he’s passionate about.

Do we really want an activist king preaching to us about the dangers of modern art, the importance of sacred geometry and the ancient practice of hedge laying?

Surely not.

Prince William, who’s much more conventional, restrained and boring, would make a much better king than his father.

Although Charles has been kept busy with public engagements over the past 50 years, it’s left him lots of time to explore pet passions such as visiting faith healers and exploring Sufism.

Sufism is mysticism in Islam and involves shunning materialism. I guess it’s easy to embrace that when you’re worth $600 million.

Such interests have marked Prince Charles as soft, out of touch and eccentric — even by members of his own family. One journalist spent the day with him at his country house in Gloucestershire and learnt all about his nitrogen-fixing plants and the dangers of subclinical mastitis in cows’ udders.

Like his father, Prince Charles also has a history of saying outrageous things. As he reportedly said when his affair with Camilla Parker Bowles was made public, “Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?”

Prince Charles reportedly joked about having a mistress before he wed Camilla Parker Bowles. Picture: AFP

He also once told a scantily-clad performer: “Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes”.

And he once described a month-long serious flood as a “jolly good disaster” to those affected.

There is also the comment he made to Camilla about wanting to live inside her trousers and be her sanitary item on an illegally recorded tape in the 1990s. Tampongate, it was called, rocked the monarchy to its foundations.

Times have changed and now the Queen’s grandchildren — not children — are keeping interest in the monarchy alive.

It appears that roaming the world in private jets and walking around on red carpets hasn’t helped Prince Charles to understand how the other half live.

He’s reportedly so out of touch that he’d never encountered cling wrap until recently, has his shoelaces ironed and travels with his own personal toilet seat, toilet paper and orthopaedic bed.

Oh, and he likes exactly one inch of toothpaste squeezed onto the royal toothbrush.

He’s also an avid letter writer, issuing regular “black spider” missives to those in power.

Prince Charles is interviewed by host Ian Molly Meldrum on TV series Countdown.

He’s also written a limited-edition book setting out his interest in 16th century German astronomy, Thomas Aquinas’s eternal law, the Vedic traditions of India and Chinese Daoism.

Gee, that’s going to play really well with middle England, isn’t it?

It’s no wonder polling in England shows a 20 per cent drop in support for Prince Charles compared to his mother.

But that’s the problem with monarchies — you get the next person in line, not the best person for the job.

Perhaps the funniest line Prince Charles has ever delivered — maybe the only funny line — came after a disastrous interview with then Countdown host Molly Meldrum.

Afterwards the prince said, “There is an old show business saying, which warns never to work with animals or children, but nobody prepared me for Molly Meldrum”.

I am not sure anybody is prepared for King Charles, but long may he reign.

We’ll be a republic in no time.

Susie O’Brien is a Herald Sun columnist. her book, The Secret of Half-Arsed Parenting, is out now