Susie O’Brien: Big Ute could be just the beginning for Victoria

All the best icons of Aussie culture are big, so it’s time Victoria reclaimed its status as the home of big things.

The Big Ute on a Pole in Deniliquin.

I can’t think of a better way to honour Geelong’s automotive history than a
Big Ute.

Except maybe a Big Ute on a Stick. Hoisting a ute 10m in the air on a metal pole is a fitting tribute to the father of the ute, Geelong’s own Lew Bandt, who designed the first ute in 1934.

All the best icons of Aussie culture are big.

There’s the Big Koala, the Big Ned Kelly, the Big Pie and the Big Bogan.

And my favourite, the Big Root, which is in East Gippsland.

There’s no doubt a Big Ute would do for Geelong what the Big Pineapple did for the Sunshine Coast and the Big Merino did for Goulburn.

But it has to be done right.

Some of Victoria’s other Big Things have failed to live up to their full potential.

Let’s face it, the Big Arch of Victory, funded by female staff from a lingerie factory and opened by the Prince of Wales in 1920, hasn’t cemented itself as a major international tourist destination.

The Big Ned Kelly statue in Glenrowan. Picture: Alamy

Same goes for the Big Earthworm on the Bass Coast, the Big Milkshake in Warrnambool and the Big Tap on Phillip Island, which have not reached global icon status.

Yet.

At least they’re better than the Big Potato in NSW, which looks like a 10m tall turd.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison is already a fan of the Big Ute on a Stick, even though he didn’t know it until asked about it by a journalist this week.

“A Big, sorry??” he said.

After the journalist pointed out that the project was already backed by Premier Daniel Andrews and federal Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese, Morrison had no choice but to throw his support behind the idea.

“I love utes. How good are utes? And how good would a big ute be? That’s what I’d say.

I’m a big fan of big things for Australia.

We’re a big country, we need more big things as tourism attractions,” he said in Geelong.

The Big Ute was the brainchild of radio hosts Herbie and Josh from K Rock in conjunction with the Geelong Museum of Motoring and Industry.

The Big Merino in Goulburn. Picture: Getty Images

It was recently given in-principle support by the Geelong council. Wouldn’t you love to have been a fly on the wall when Geelong councillors first discussed the idea?

It would have been Item 462 on the council agenda, seven hours into the meeting.

Councillor One: “Now, how can we really put this region on the map and celebrate our automotive history? We’ve got a proposal from Herbie and Josh from K Rock!”

Councillor Two: “All the good ideas from around here come from the Geelong’s Home of the Hits! Lay it on me!”

Councillor One: “They want us to make a Big Ute!”

Councillor Two: “Brilliant idea! But there’s a lot of big things around. How can we make it really stand out and ensure it’s not a target for vandals?”

Councillor One: (Who had chicken shashliks in the council cafeteria for lunch): “I know- let’s put it on a stick.”

Councillor Two: “Great work, let’s pay ourselves $75,000 to establish that it’s a good idea!”

Applause all around.

The Big Tap in Phillip Island.

The Big Koala in western Victoria. Picture: Alamy

It’s time Victoria reclaimed its status as the home of big things.

The Big Bottle’s already taken. So is the Big Stubbie and the Big Wine Cask.

So, we’ve got to look further afield.

Radio host Christian O’Connell wants us to build a giant Bunnings sausage, a huge Shane Warne and a bridge over the Yarra to the MCG made of enormous cricket bats, tennis racquets and footballs.

That’s the kind of the vision we’re looking for, but why stop there?

Nothing would say Melbourne like a 20m tall parking ticket inspector, super-sized roadworks signs, an MCG streaker wearing nothing but a footy scarf, and a one-legged seagull with a chip in its mouth hulking over the bay.

And – of course — a giant Herald Sun newspaper.

A slew of big things could revitalise the city landscape and draw crowds back to the CBD. What about a giant recyclable coffee cup on Hardware Lane, a huge VB stubby and a swag on Elizabeth St, and perhaps some ironic McDonald’s litter on Swanston St?

Or perhaps we could bring back the Big Cigarette, which used to grace the town of Myrtleford?

Geelong’s Big Things could be sponsored by major employers in the region. They would include a Big Nightie (Cotton On), a Big Souvlaki (Australian Lamb), Big Boardies (Rip Curl), and a Big HECS debt notice (Deakin Uni).

And how about a Big Footy in Cats colours and a Big Premiership to go with it?

Sounds like a plan to me.