Same-sex marriage ‘no’ voters should stop pretending they care about the kids

IF you’re voting against same-sex marriage, don’t pretend it’s for the sake of the kids — it’s clear you don’t care that your actions are harming, not helping them, writes Susie O’Brien.

IF you’re voting against same-sex marriage, don’t pretend it’s for the sake of the kids.

If you’re voting “no”, it’s clear you don’t care about the kids, because your actions are harming them, not helping them.

Children with gay parents are just the same as the kids from traditional families. They deserve to have their family status given the same legal protection and rights as everyone else.

It’s as simple as this.

And yet already children from all kinds of families are being used by the “no” vote as pawns in the same-sex marriage debate.

The first TV advert arguing against same-sex marriage uses mothers to push the idea that marriage equality will lead to Safe Schools-style programs becoming widespread and compulsory.

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Melbourne mum Cella White in the first TV advert arguing against same-sex marriage, which uses mothers to push its agenda.

It’s a complete nonsense that leverages fears about the Safe Schools Program and links them to same-sex marriage.

Let me make this very clear: there’s absolutely no connection between Safe Schools and same-sex marriage. The two are not connected in any way. Voting yes to same-sex marriage will not lead to kids being encouraged to role play being gay, or to boys wearing dresses to school.

It’s scandalous scaremongering.

Coalition for Marriage spokeswoman Sophie York said Australian parents “have a right to know how a change in the marriage law will affect what their kids are taught at school”.

She’s correct that parents have a right to know — they have a right to know the advent of same-sex marriage won’t change what kids are taught in schools one iota.

It won’t bring in radical sex education and it won’t bring in weird gender ideologies.

The Safe Schools program is accepted and appreciated by thousands of Australian parents. Picture: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

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All it will do is demonise those who deliver such programs, which are accepted and appreciated by the vast majority of parents in thousands of schools across the country.

But what should we expect from the opponents of marriage equality, who have been stirring up discontent about the welfare of children from same-sex relationships for years now?

It’s been widely asserted that gay marriage will be harmful for children of same-sex relationships because children are better off with a biological father and a mother.

For instance, conservative educator Kevin Donnelly said the “ideal situation is where children are raised by their biological parents”.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott also said it was “not homophobic to maintain that, ideally, children should have both a mother and a father”.  I strongly disagree. It is homophobic to say gay people don’t make good parents.

Artist David Pereirra paints a pro-marriage equality mural on a wall at Melbourne Central. Picture: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

And there is Liberal MP Kevin Andrews, who said the best environment for raising children is a “husband and wife in a stable relationship”.

Even more extreme are the views of Nationals Senator Ron Boswell, who said: “Two mothers or two fathers cannot raise a child properly.”

“Who takes a boy to football? How does he go camping and fishing? Yes, there might be some attempt by one of the mothers to fill in as a father figure but it will not work,” he said.

How absurd.

And — even more extreme — is Senator Cory Bernardi who compared same-sex marriage to bestiality. The less said about that the better.

Such views directly — and deliberately — ignore reams of research that shows children raised by same-sex couples are just as well off as any other children.

Senator Cory Bernardi infamously compared same-sex marriage to bestiality. Picture: AAP Image/Lukas Coch

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A Columbia Law School review of 76 studies into how the children of gay parents fare found 75 concluded they were no different to any other children.

Similar research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies by Deborah Dempsey also found children in such families “do as well emotionally, socially and educationally as their peers from heterosexual couple families.”

The wellbeing of children of gay couples is a major issue given that there are around 48,000 gay couples with children — about one in ten gay men and one third of gay women, according to the ABS in 2016.

We should be mindful of the feelings of these children.

Those who do claim to care about the kids should listen to what they and their parents want: to have exactly the same rights as anyone else. And what they also want is not to be told their parents aren’t as good as anyone else’s.

@susieob