Online dating can be looking for love in all the wrong places

THESE days online daters can choose from a mind-blowing plethora of websites including Fat Bastard Dating, Purrsonals.com and even singleswithfoodallergies.com. writes Susie O’Brien.

Dating has changed in recent years and not necessarily for the better.

CONFESSION time. I’ve been spending a lot of time on online dating websites recently.

It’s all in the name of research, mind you.

The last time I was single was 20 years ago. The internet wasn’t around, there were no mobile phones, and getting lucky happened after a five-buck chuck at a local pub.

Back then men in packs roamed bars, cornering women who had knocked back a few too many wild peach wine coolers.

Now if you’re single, you’re more likely to meet someone through Tinder, where you’ll be matched with a topless guy holding a gun standing with one foot on a deer carcass.

Dating has certainly changed in recent years, and not necessarily for the better.

I think it’s funny that everyone is so keen to laugh at all the hapless sad sacks looking for love on reality TV on shows such as Seven Year Switch, Married at First Sight and the new one, Kiss Bang Love.

But the real life dating that’s taking place online is way crazier than anything reality TV producers could dream up.

These days, online daters can choose from a mind-blowing plethora of websites and apps.

These include Fat Bastard Dating that “helps lazy and overweight singles find love” and Purrsonals.com, which helps cat lovers meet other cat lovers.

There’s also singleswithfoodallergies.com. Yes, really.

Founder Matty Thomas created the site after wondering how she could ever find a guy “who would be comfortable in my dairy-free, shellfish-free, and nut-free household”.

These days you are likely to meet someone through Tinder.

It’s another world. I’m pretty sure all those Bundy-swilling lotharios I met years ago didn’t include food intolerances on their list of must-haves.

Any woman who was upright with a pulse and desperate enough to want them at the end of the night seemed all they were looking for.

You can also try GothicMatch.com, UglySchmucks.com or Meet-an-Inmate.com, which conveniently offers a range of incarcerated Romeos at the click of a mouse. (You may have to stump up for bail if you want more than just the odd conjugal visit.)

And that’s not even counting the general sites like eHarmony, RSVP.com.au or Plenty of Fish.

Just for kicks, I created an online profile on one of these sites, offering myself out there as someone in her mid 40s who likes waterskiing, reading and walking along the beach. I thought that sounded bland enough to appeal to the masses.

I waited for the eligible blokes to roll in. And waited. And waited.

A few desperate-looking guys, like Trev the roadie from Reservoir (grey hair and a beer gut) were matched with me.

There was also Ken the hedge-trimmer from Kew. (Hmmm, was that a joke?) and Simon the insurance assessor who liked classic rock and cats.

I remembered with a shudder a research report that found Victorian women in their 30s and 40s are Australia’s loneliest online daters.

Apparently, women my age are too picky to take men older than them, which are the only group that wants them.

The younger men they really want to hook up with are too busy trying to snag women in their 20s to want a middle-aged woman with a mum tum.

The survey also found women online are also more likely to be won over with no-nonsense pick-up lines such as “Where are you from originally?” and “Would you like to get a drink with me?”

Cheesy lines such a — “Wanna ziggy ziggy?” and “Where are you my beautiful soulmate?” are a big turn-off, the survey found.

But men, on the other hand, respond well to lines from women such as “What’s your favourite thing to do on a sunny day?” and “Is there anything that always makes you smile?”

As one friend who regularly does online dating tells me, it’s both totally compelling and utterly depressing at the same time.

Looks are all-important, because the first impression is based on a photo, not an actual interaction. And the anonymity of dating on a phone rather than in a bar means it’s much easier to be cruel rather than kind.

You think twice before being mean to someone you meet in person but with Tinder, you just swipe left and obliterate them forever.

So I’m stuck between publicly looking for love in bars with men who really should be home with their wives, or the private humiliation of choosing between desperados like Trev, Simon and Ken online.

Hmmm. Reality TV dating is looking pretty good at this point. Kiss Bang Love could work well for me.

@susieob

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