Bachelorette Sophie Monk picks her Mr Right tonight

ALL eyes will be on Channel Ten tonight when we find out if Australia’s favourite blonde bombshell bogan has made the right choice. Sophie, I’ve written this poem to inspire you.

Stu Laundy would be a Stu-pendous choice for Sophie.

CHANNELLING Sophie Monk… choose Stu, choose Stu, choose Stu…

All eyes will be on Channel Ten tonight as we find out whether Australia’s favourite blonde bombshell bogan make the right choice.

Will she go for Jarrod and have a “family on the vineyard” or Stu, who’s got to have his vasectomy reversed in order to give her the kids she craves?

Ratings for this series of The Bachelorette have been through the roof, primarily because of the down-to-earth ditzy appeal of Monk.

She’s fake-farted in yoga for a radio prank, bought 5000 copies of her album Calendar Girl because “no one else was” and she didn’t know who Bill Shorten was when she met him on the Home and Away set.

Throw in the fact that she’s smokin’ hot and has long been unlucky in love and you’ve got a heroine everyone is rooting for. Oops, I mean barracking for.

In an inspired move, Monk approached Channel Ten to go on the show because she’s been “very single” for a long time and was even engaged four times.

This season of The Bachelorette is being watched by many people who’ve never tuned in to any of the previous seasons. Many are shocked at how connected they feel to Monk.

People really, really want her to find love this time and break her long streak of dating deadsh*ts.

Perhaps it’s because many of us know how hard it is to find Mr Right rather than Mr All-right or even Mr Overnight. “I just really want someone to love me for me,” Monk said in one interview.

The show’s success has a lot to do with her great personality and earthy manner. She loves to deploy the f-bomb and always says what she thinks.

She’ll openly talk about her dad weeing on her foot when she was five because she stood on a bluebottle, has an ugly bulldog called Rupert and hasn’t read a book since she was three.

The fact that she’s been dropped by some of Hollywood’s most famous men is another reason for her appeal. As she’s openly admitted, “there’s a lot of knobs out there”.

Unlike previous Bachelorette ladies, she’s already well-known, so she’s not in it for the fame. As she says, “I’ve travelled the world and seen fame and it means nothing to happiness”. Aaaah, bless.

Monk insists she has found love: “totally 100 per cent, it’s incredible”.

More than one million viewers expected to tune into tonight’s show bloody well hope it’s true. Regardless of who it is, let’s hope they’re up to the job of keeping Australia’s new first daughter happy and loved-up.

Sophie, I’ve even written you a poem in honour of tonight’s show.

We didn’t want you to end up with Jarrod the creep,

That really would have made us weep.

We’re also glad you threw out Apollo,

We didn’t really trust that fine-looking fellow.

We thought James would be there ‘til the end,

Still, at least he will be your friend.

Sophie, we’ve been on this journey with you.

That’s why we hope you’ve chosen Stu.