Pricey: Melbourne has the honour of Australia’s worst airport

Attracting tourists is hard enough without thinking they’ve arrived in some broken down sh--hole that doesn’t care.

Steve Price

@StevePriceMedia

4 min read

June 17, 2022 - 2:30PM

Melbourne airport expecting its busiest day since the start of the pandemic

Opinion

Don't miss out on the headlines from Opinion. Followed categories will be added to My News.

Melbourne now has the honour of Australia’s worst capital city airport by a very long way.

Tullamarine is a horror show when compared to the modern gateways that service other capitals – Adelaide and Perth in particular.

Even Sydney and Brisbane are superior international and domestic airports.

It’s such a Victorian embarrassment that it sits alongside the joke that is Melbourne’s cruise ship terminal at Port Melbourne’s Station Pier.

For years, cruise ship arrivals into Melbourne have been faced with a shuttered ex-gym complex.

Compare Station Pier with tying up at Circular Quay in Sydney opposite the Opera House.

However, this is not a criticism based on geography – Melbourne would always lose that contest.

No, it’s more about the inability of state governments to realise arrivals’ first impressions are half the battle when it comes to attracting tourists.

Tourism Minister Martin Pakula loves to sell the various arms of his very social portfolio of Tourism, Sport, Major Events and Racing.

The problem for the minister, though, is it takes more than turning up at things to do your job. The State Government may not own or run Melbourne Airport, but to allow the two major gateways to what was once the world’s most liveable city to deteriorate to such an extent is a failure, any way you look at it.

Melbourne now has the dishonour of being the worst airport in Australia. Picture: Michael Kai

To be minister for attracting people to Melbourne when your city loses any bragging rights about being liveable should be enough to lose your job.

Melbourne Airport was opened in 1970 – 52 years ago – to replace its near neighbour, Essendon Airport.

In 1994, the Federal Government announced all airports operated by the Federal Airports Corporation — including Tullamarine — would be privatised, with Melbourne Aiport acquired by Australian Pacific Airports for $1.3 billion in a sale completed in 1997.

At the time, Victoria was being called the rust-bucket state and it’s not much better today.

The privately-owned gateway, despite the investment in new terminals for budget airlines, is looking very tired in comparison with Australia’s other privately owned gateway airports.

Melbourne Airport has no rail link, despite being further from its CBD than any other capital city air terminal – 20km, compared with Adelaide at 6.4km and Sydney at 8km – and is serviced only by taxis, Uber vehicles and buses.

It has a rundown airport hotel attached to a horrendously overpriced short-term car park and a windswept long-term facility for parking so far away that it’s a bus ride.

Access during peak hours is compromised by an elevated arrival road cut not once but twice by pedestrian crossings so full of people they pay someone with a stop sign to control traffic.

The departure terminal at Melbourne Airport is a charmless ghost town. Picture: Enrique Ascui

In 2022, this is simply not acceptable and makes regular users purple with frustration.

Inside the main terminal that looks after international departures and Qantas flights, it doesn’t seem that any money has been spent for a very long time (apart from some new bathrooms down on the departure level).

The main arrival and departure arm used by Qantas is now a ghost town, charmless with virtually no retail anywhere including nowhere to get a drink, coffee or sandwich.

Frequent Flyer lounges don’t appear to have been renovated for a very long time.

Simply put, it’s a cold, unfriendly and uninspiring place to leave from or arrive at.

The Covid years were clearly tough for the operators but no tougher than the private operators of Mascot in Sydney and Adelaide Airport.

Compare Tullamarine with the great airports of the world like Singapore, Hong Kong, Dubai and London’s Heathrow and you realise we are a very long way behind in the battle to attract tourists.

Sapporo airport in Japan has an internal food market promoting the excellent local seafood where you can taste sushi and sashimi fresh from the tank. Singapore serves excellent fresh noodle dishes, so good you don’t eat on the plane to arrive hungry.

Tourism Minister Martin Pakulaallow has allowed the two major gateways to what was once the world’s most liveable city deteriorate. Picture: Andrew Henshaw

Melbourne offers overpriced and soggy sandwiches next to uninspiring wraps and expensive beer and wine.

In Adelaide, by comparison, they have the Coopers Beer bar flogging the local product and an entire mini-supermarket featuring South Australian produce – everything from local honey to boutique gin and whiskey.

I thought Melbourne was supposed to be the food and wine centre of Australia and the sporting capital of the world. To arrive at Melbourne Airport, you’d think you were in a third-world country.

Come on, Melbourne, we can do better than this. It is as if Covid and lockdowns have snuffed out our Victorian pride – and there is no better example of that than the pathetic message we send arrivals.

If the private owners don’t want to promote our state, buy the airport off them and start again. Or at least pump some money into promoting the state and make passengers happy to be here.

Fill the joint with pop-up food stalls, little wine bars and audio visuals showing the Grand Prix, the Australian Open tennis and our own game of AFL on giant screens.

Pay comedians such as Dave Hughes to roam departure lounges cracking jokes and hold exhibitions of art from the NGV.

Travel is hard these days, and attracting tourists is bloody hard enough without thinking they’ve arrived in some broken down s--thole that doesn’t care.