Patrick Carlyon: Young people must ignore the scaremongering

Federal and state politicians have botched the jab rollout and the quarantine programs — and now they are scaremongering our only hope of beating Covid.

Dear Young People,

For all those over 40 who wear Lycra, I’m sorry.

For all the oldies who argue it was as hard to buy a first home 25 years ago as it is now, I recant.

For all the snide references to your supposed reliance on the Bank of Mum and/or Dad, and your alleged disdain for voicemail, punctuation, and older people who fish for coins at the front of the coffee queue, I express regret.

For any suggestion that you are narcissistic, selfish, ignorant of history and oddly entitled in your approaches to life and work, I apologise.

For the 700 words ahead – entirely without smiley faces, abbreviations, or any vaguely amusing memes that tether this nation to American culture – I beg your indulgence.

Why this grovelling plea?

Us oldies need you like we have never needed you before.

We seek to hear the voice of which you have been deprived. We belatedly embrace your independence of spirit, and your woke values that teach us more about our inherent racism than we cared to know, and your disregard for the opinions of anyone born before Whitlam (a prime minister before the interwebs and ear buds).

For you are the future. Yes, you’ve heard that patronising tosh before. But now you are today, too. We need you to improve your – and therefore our – lot.

A nurse administers the Pfizer vaccine to a frontline worker.

Old and young, racist and non-racist, we endure the same dreadful muddle together.

Let’s be clear – it’s the fault of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers.

An old people’s disease – yes, you may call it a “boomer remover” – has so far killed no Australians in the community this year. Yet Covid keeps almost half the population, young and old, trapped in our homes.

Sydney confronts a genuine outbreak of Covid. Other cities, such as Perth and Townsville, have been thrown into lockdown because it is politically expedient to amplify the misplaced fears of older people.

Gen X policymakers are determined to keep everyone huddled in fear (and watching ancient British TV crime dramas on rerun). Without your help, lockdowns and Midsomer Murders will continue unabated for months.

Old politicians, federal and state, have botched the vaccination rollout and the quarantine programs. We exist in what has been called overseas as “Covid limbo”.

We are nowhere near vaccinating the nation. If the Australian vaccination effort was applied to the Tokyo Olympics, the team bus would roll into Nagasaki. The world mocks us, for good reason. China is far more vaccinated than Australia.

Pfizer, the “good” vaccination, will not arrive in meaningful numbers until October. Moderna, the other “good” one, will arrive at about the same time.

Until then, we must bow to AstraZeneca (or AZ, which rhymes with Jay Z) the slightly more dangerous choice.

You are entitled to be confused about vaccinations. Everyone is. Between state and federal authorities, Australia has received more mixed messages than a Nick Kyrgios press conference.

Politicians, as well as actual doctors, have dissed an abrupt federal government shift of policy to open up AstraZeneca shots to the young. The advice, we’re told, goes against the advice.

Queensland’s chief health officer Jeannette Young channelled the grim reaper Aids ads of last millennium (and Pete Evans) to warn young people against accepting the AZ invitation.

It’s true that anyone who receives AZ could get blood clots. The statistics may be well in your favour (think three unfortunate fans in a grand final crowd), but vaccine hesitancy is an understandable choice.

Yet your response has so far been gratifying. It seems you do not fear mortality as older people do. You have hounded GPs and shopped around until you find a helpful one. Rather than vaccine hesitancy, as it’s known, you have shown “vaccine impatience”.

Early signs suggest that you want the life you once had, where parties with a few of your mates are not illegal, and socialising with strangers is not frowned upon.

We need you to keep voting with your feet. To get an AZ shot. To make informed choices that multiply your options as well as enhance our abilities to talk about socks, or play bingo, or whatever it is you think 40-plus people do for fun.

We’re asking you to ignore the scaremongering. To make decisions that will almost certainly help you, as well as the unconsciously racist and senile.

We invoke your rebellious streak, to go tac when oldies tell you to go tic, to do what’s right for you, which happens to help us, too.

A heartfelt thank-you is in the mail. Like mass Pfizer, it may or may not arrive before the end of the year.

Patrick Carlyon is a Herald Sun columnist