No way back for ‘Scotty from maladministration’

Now we know that he collected ministerial roles like scouts collect badges, hatred of the former PM has hit a level usually reserved for depraved criminals.

Scott Morrison will be remembered as ‘the Christopher Skase of accountability’ after secretly seized control of five ministerial posts. Picture: Steven Saphore

A few months ago, by a rough measure, maybe two-thirds of the country disliked then Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

In a campaign road trip across four states and many pubs, the sights blurred. Each town and city was littered with the expected billboards. Yet Morrison’s face, frozen in an unflattering sneer, greeted all visitors everywhere, like a wanted poster on steroids.

People didn’t just dislike Morrison; they hated him with an intensity typically reserved for a depraved criminal, or even a reality show villain.

Morrison was to blame for logistical failings of the vaccination rollout. He never clicked when everyone remembered to care about the climate again.

But it was more, much more. Whether it was declining to hold a hose, or hitting up the wrong bushfires families for a photo-op, Morrison stood accused.

The joke about Scotty from Marketing wasn’t funny anymore. Morrison lacked the care and sincerity that a tired nation needed.

Playing a ukulele during a 60 Minutes interview didn’t help Scott Morrion’s public image.

Morrison has finally united the nation like he never could in power. That we now know that he collected ministerial roles like a scout collects badges, and kept the appointments a secret, offers something solid for those who disliked Morrison, but couldn’t really explain why.

Now pretty much everyone despises Morrison. He has joined the pantheon of fiends, to be hissed like the memory of Billy Hughes at an ALP function, or booed whenever the vision of Sir John Kerr, staggering and slurring in his tails, is aired, or when the footage plays of Pauline Hanson, all quaver and intensity, declaring that Australia will be “swamped by Asians”.

Scotty from Marketing is no more. He is Scotty from Maladministration. Morrison has upset his closest allies. He is Scott No Mates. After a pause, in what the kids would call a wtf moment, his colleagues, armed with soundbites and elbows, have formed a queue.

It’s rarely this clear cut. Remember the moment – history will. In only a few days, Morrison’s political epitaph has been written. His book advance, should he ever choose to write his memoirs, has been slashed by about nine-tenths.

He will enjoy no elder statesman status, such as those of Paul Keating and Bob Hawke and John Howard, when the love of today blots the loathing of yesterday.

Instead, Morrison is asterisked as something else. He is the Alan Bond of politics, the Christopher Skase of accountability. He should move to Majorca (with or without an oxygen tank) at once.