Opinion: PC on the loose cancels Doc Seuss

They’re books of my childhood, filled with poetic wealth. But who knew Dr Seuss would be bad for my health?

Way back when

Long before I was ten

When I had curly hair

But lost it again

Before journalism

And getting the juice

My entire world view

Was via Dr Seuss

The rhymes

The good times

And the squiggly lines

Oh The Places You’ll Go

If you followed the signs

Horton heard a Who

Fish One And Fish Two

The Fox with his Socks

And Hopping on Pop

And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, by Dr Seuss.

Before all the loudness

And society’s screeches

It was the Pet that I’d Get

Or the wonderful Sneetches

No fake news

Or alternative facts

Instead, just a Wocket

And fluffiest Lorax

All these creatures

And tales

Had my mind in a clinch

Was it true

That the Grinch

All those Christmases pinch?

Or the pup in a cup

On a cup

Know what’s up?

It was way more complex

Than Kim Kardashian’s butt

But 40 years later

This just in:

If I Ran The Zoo

Is a menagerie of sins

And heaven forbid

If my now-adult feet

Wondered back down

On to Mulberry Street

McElligot’s Pool, by Dr Seuss.

That wonderful ‘hood

Where good folk

Once lived

Has suddenly turned

Worst row on the grid

The dodgiest kind

Apparently now flock

It would make a good tear-down

Next year on The Block

If I Ran I Zoo …

Well, I just wouldn’t dare

With the un-PC dangers

Lurking in there

And McElligot’s Pool?

I don’t think we oughta

Allegedly somebody peed

In the water

On Beyond Zebra

Used to be black and white

It’s now a woke-battle ‘tween

The left and the right

Scrambled Eggs Super?

Not in this region

Especially if it’s not

Gluten free

Or vegan

On Beyond Zebra, by Dr Seuss.

The Cat’s Quizzer

Looks very suspect

Check the questions

To see

If they’re politically correct

Time to investigate

The Cat In The Hat

Green Eggs And Ham

And Pat with the Bat

It’s valid

That now

Some see the wrong

In chopsticks, bare feet

And an animal throng

But my innocent eyes

Long before I was 10

Still sees the joy

In the books

From back then

Today

I get mail

With the same form of haikus

Like, “Nadia who?”

And, “How is this news!?”

The gist that I get

From this wide range of views

Is the feeling

We all learned

On the good doctor, Seuss