Matt Johnston: Parliament reveals itself as the farce and the furious

JUST when you think the parallel universe known as state parliament can’t get any weirder, an MP decides to repeatedly stick his middle finger up in the Legislative Assembly, writes Matt Johnston.

JUST when you think the parallel universe known as state parliament can’t get any weirder, an MP decides to repeatedly stick his middle finger up in the Legislative Assembly.

VIC LABOR MP SORRY FOR FLIPPING THE BIRD

STATE MP LODGES COMPLAINT ABOUT UGLY STOUSH IN PARLIAMENTARY LIFT

Labor MP Hong Lim, who is a few months from retiring on a nice fat parliamentary pension, initially said he wasn’t being rude with that gesture, he was just brushing back his hair.

Perhaps that is also what he was trying to tell Liberal MP Roma Britnell when he allegedly tore into her in the parliamentary lift soon after. While the MPs differ slightly in their views on the ugly incident, people who heard shouting from the lift were left in no doubt something rather unparliamentary was going down. Lim later apologised to the House.

The furious sideshow surrounding the one-fingered salute and its aftermath comes a few weeks after warring Labor MPs decided to savage each other in the parliamentary dining room.

Victorian Labor MP Hong Lim. Picture: AAP

That spat saw an agitated Sports Minister John Eren accuse his factional enemy, Adem Somyurek, of brandishing cutlery — a claim Somyurek vehemently denies and which was not upheld by a probe.

Whether or not Lim flipped the bird in state parliament, where school students come to watch elected representatives “perform”, reminded me of the soap opera that surrounded former Frankston Liberal MP Geoff Shaw in 2012.

Shaw sparked uproar in the House six years ago when it appeared he yelled “wankers” at Labor MPs while making a “lewd gesture”.

The member for Frankston claimed he was yelling “whackers”.

Perhaps Lim did his colleagues a favour by accident on Thursday by causing a distraction.

Fresh from his dining room embarrassment, Eren was in focus again yesterday, fumbling his way through “answers” to questions about his role in Labor’s rorts-for-votes scheme.

Opposition Leader Matthew Guy put him in a bit of a pickle, reminding the Sports Minister he had once told state parliament
he hadn’t signed timesheets for a staff member who worked as a campaigner in the electorate of Bellarine.

Victorian Ombudsman Deborah Glass. Picture: AAP

Last week, Ombudsman Deborah Glass said one of Eren’s staff had worked as an ALP campaigner in Bellarine in 2014. Despite this, Eren kept pretending he hadn’t misled the House.

This was mainly because Labor does not want to admit any wrongdoing in running an operation the Ombudsman described as “wrong”.

Rather than explain himself in parliament — a place that has been renowned for being where the truth is usually told — Eren said the Ombudsman’s report showed people acted in good faith.

Premier Daniel Andrews, who turned his back on Eren during the minister’s contributions, also claimed he hadn’t misled parliament about public money being used in Labor’s Ringwood campaign.

The memories of Shaw are flooding back this week not just because of his whacker incident.

It’s because he also rorted a taxpayer-funded allowance.

Shaw used his parliamentary car to run errands for his hardware business, and was forced to apologise and repay money.

While Labor has repaid money for its rorting — the Ombudsman said it was about $388,000 but the true figure may never be known because Legislative Assembly MPs didn’t co-operate with the investigation — its MPs are far from apologetic.

A powerful committee in the Legislative Council will now probe the matter further, and could suspend MPs involved if they think it is warranted.

Premier Daniel Andrews addresses parliament. Picture: AAP

One of the words that stuck from the Ombudsman’s report was “artifice”. In other words, a clever device used to trick others.

Hiring extra parliamentary staff to pay for a chunk of the campaign bill the ALP faced was a calculated deception that aimed to give the party an advantage at the election.

The win-at-all-costs attitude of our cricket team has been analysed to death this week.

There’s a similar ethos clearly affecting politics.

Once the grubby tactics of one side are exposed, others start to look for an advantage to even up the ledger.

The same goes in parliament, where once one side aims to cause chaos and succeeds, everyone starts to act up. There is little expectation this will ease up. It’s all heading in one direction.

Seeing Shadow special minister of state Ryan Smith berate and point his finger at Speaker Colin Brooks after being thrown out of the chamber on Thursday and on Wednesday, exposes what the Opposition thinks about standards in the House.

Parliaments have always been robust, and should be.

But there is usually a line.

Question Time has long been a joke, but there should at least be a fig leaf covering the naked politics on display, and some measure of integrity to answers provided.

Who cares, you might ask?

Speaker Colin Brooks. Picture: Nicole Garmston

Good question. Maybe that’s why Labor thought it could siphon hundreds of thousands of dollars in public money to help its cause, without anybody noticing.

Now people have noticed, they probably hope they won’t care, or their attention towards the rort will die down.

State parliament sits this year for only 13 weeks, or about 40 days in total.

It’s an election year, meaning a chunk of October and all of November is set aside for campaigning, but it’s still a lean schedule.

You might try to mount an argument the government is flicking the bird at scrutiny and the people who elected it. But seeing what’s on display, not many people are complaining.

Matt Johnston is state politics editor

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