Ian Royall: Don’t blame bikes for the CBD’s clogged footpaths
THERE is certainly congestion on the footpaths in Melbourne’s CBD but there are far more culprits getting in the way than just motorbikes, writes Ian Royall.
Opinion
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IT was the Saturday before Christmas in 1994, as shoppers flocked to central Melbourne to buy their festive gifts, that a simple but effective protest took place. The city’s motorcycling community, angered by plans by the council to ban them from parking on footpaths, decided to plonk their bikes in the street parking bays.
One bike, one parking space. Some riders even brought deck chairs to sit next to their machines as hundreds took a fair chunk of the shoppers’ parking spaces.
The “ride-in”, as it was called, caused some chaos to motorists driving into the CBD, but it’s a protest that lingers more in the memory of riders than shoppers who were slightly inconvenienced one day 24 years ago.
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The protest worked, prompting the council to step back from the ban, and riders are permitted to park on the footpath to this day. The reason to recall this scrap of biking folklore is that the prospect of removing motorcycles and scooters from the city’s pavements is being canvassed again as part of Town Hall’s transport strategy.
Motorcycles have been able to legally park on pavements in Victoria — as long as it doesn’t impede pedestrians, access or services — since the 1980s.
The law is a source of much pride for the state’s riders, who especially champion the privilege when travelling interstate. The latest discussion paper doesn’t specifically call for powered two-wheelers to be removed from the footpaths but the language of the document and of the council’s consultants, emphasises the need to make our city pedestrian-friendly. And fair enough.
Motorcyclists are quick to point out that there have been few skirmishes or injuries to pedestrians, yet many people would be intimidated by a Harley rolling past their toes.
Also the Victorian Motorcycle Council is happy for the council to fine riders who park in harm’s way.
But let’s also admit there’s plenty of other clutter clogging our walkways. Here are a few:
Jesus bikes: Yes, these God-forsaken religious billboards posing as bicycles are a constant annoyance for the council. And these things are welded on.
Abandoned bicycles: The council has to remove more than 100 bicycles a year that are long forgotten by their owners in the CBD. The good people at Town Hall hang on to them for a couple of months then donate or scrap them depending on their condition.
Chuggers: OK, who wants these charity beggars to stay? No, didn’t think so. I know backpackers need to pay for beer and board but why are they so annoying and usually obstructing the way. (Remember, if you sign up, a fair percentage goes to the collection company, not the actual charity. Donate direct, or boycott them and find another cause.)
Delivery scooters: Want your Uber Eats at your door in 4.3 minutes? Well, perhaps a line of food-delivery scooters choking a section of footpath is the price you have to pay.
Work vehicles: Then there are tradie and delivery vehicles which, as we all know, have special hazard lights which mean you can park wherever the heck you like.
Construction scaffolding: Almost every street in the city seems to have scaffolding covering the footpath. The council makes tens of thousands of dollars from footpath closure fees and fines. So next time you cower under a dusty scaffold or are forced to cross the road because your way is blocked, be safe in the knowledge that a bean counter down at Town Hall is having a good day.
Bollards: Yep, more than 18 months since the horrors of Bourke St and we still have ugly concrete bollards peppering our walkways. The state government and the city council are still working on design solutions. There’s even millions of dollars in the budget. Why they don’t go to Bunnings and buy a dozen planter boxes, those lovely corrugated iron ones, I don’t know. And dahlias seem nice at this time of year. And don’t even start me on those orange and white plastic barriers along Princes Bridge. World’s most liveable city? What a load of bollards!
Of course there are other impediments to pedestrians’ progress, including discarded rubbish, cafe tables and chairs, signs and badly parked cars. Every construction site means hundreds more residents and workers in an already populous city.
Sure, much of this traffic, movement and growth is all part of a growing, thriving metropolis. Can’t stop progress, as they say. Just get outta my way!
Ian Royall is a motorcyclist and Herald Sun city reporter
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