Here’s to all the women who made me a man

With International Women’s Day coming up, Mikey Cahill reflects on the wise words that inspirational women have offered to him, that has helped shape him into the man he is today.

Mikey Cahill reflects on the inspirational and wise women who have turned him into a man, such as Tina Fey

Women. Girls. Fascinating creatures. The homogametic sex with two X chromosomes. They rock.

Real talk: they’ve been putting up with male shiitake for a long time (we have our uses but history shows we’ve been a tad overbearing).

International Womens’ Day is next Friday and I want to honour all the great females who have guided me for the past 41 years.

Here are some of the finest pieces of advice and wisdom I have received from women of all ages.

“You can sit and read Asterix and Obelix over there for as long as you like.” Pam Darling, Berwick Librarian.

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Pam was a sweet, 65-year-old lady who would let us prop on nylon cushions, devouring books voraciously before I knew what voraciously meant.

“Tom Cruise, William Hurt, Michael Cahill.” Connie Drossaert, Grade Four Teacher. Connie wrote those words on my green school shirt on the last day of Grade 6.

NB: I am not a Scientologist. I have appeared as an extra in Basic Instinct 2 and V for Vendetta #madeit.

“Be vivacious.” Vicky Clarke. She was both our Art and Pastoral Care teacher in Year 9 and an ebullient, gouache-toting force.

She also made sure everyone could see each other’s face when we sat in a circle, something I’ll touch on later with the sage words of Courtney Barnett.

“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” says Tina Fey.

“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey, actor, writer, comedian. Her Bossy Pants memoir is the gold standard.

“Think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free.” Aretha Franklin, singer.

“The first to apologise if the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, the first to forget is the happiest.” Karen O, lead singer of New York band Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

She told me this was her go-to inspirational quote when I chatted to her.

“Be loud. Be proud.” Juliette Lewis, actor and singer.

The wild-eyed Yank wrote that next to her autograph on an article I wrote about her when I met her after a show. I think about it at least once a week.

“If you can’t see me, I can’t see you.” Courtney Barnett in her song Dead Fox, ostensibly about the destructive powers of big business in the Great Southern Land through the allegory of semi-trailers speeding all over Australia.

I take it as being visible in people’s lives, present and available.

“I think you can turn this around.” Jill Baker, my former Weekend Editor, who hauled me into her office 11 years ago to point out the six things I was doing badly as a journalist. That phrase chilled me to the bone. I shaped up.

Courtney Barnett song Dead Fox’s resonated with Mikey.

“Make sure you wash everywhere. Have you washed your penis?” Urzula Cahill, Nana. She would shout that at me through the bathroom door in Mitcham in the 1980s.

“Keep on keeping on.” Eileen Devlin, Nanz. Nine children, 29 grandchildren, 30 great grandchildren; a whole lotta love.

She gave birth to the woman who has given me the greatest life-coaching, my mum Kate Cahill.

Some of her bangers: “Have a good cry, get it all out”; “Write the truest thing you know” and “When I’m calm I’m in control.”

I got panic attacks at the start of secondary school when I couldn’t understand the maths teacher. That line got me out of some tight spots.

Finally, my partner Kashia Kennedy is the funniest woman I’ve ever met, a woman who leads her life by example. I’ve watched her give birth. Twice.

During our first birth I was encouraging her to push, really getting into it, calling her a badass like some crazed footy coach.

She raised her hand and said: “Just stop talking.”

Mikey Cahill is a Herald Sun columnist.

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@JoeyLightbulb