Donna Cameron: Time for women to make a fuss when it comes to men’s inappropriate actions

Changes to sexual harassment will only occur when we keep up tough conversations, and stop brushing aside inappropriate actions for fear of making a fuss.

Depressed woman sitting on a chair in dark room at home. Lonly, sad, emotion concept.

In this ever-changing world we live in, the topic of sexual harassment seems to be a sad and distressing constant.

As a woman and a psychologist, I have heard thousands of stories from friends and

clients over the last 20-plus years about sexual harassment and sexual abuse. So much so,

my “shock-o-meter” was pretty unshockable.

It was a recent client’s story that jolted me out of this funk. Please note, this is not a man-hating piece of writing. It is a realisation that even good men can have no idea what behaviours are impacting on females.

When the #MeToo movement first stirred, I stayed away from it. Something about it just didn’t feel real to me. I intend no disrespect but what I saw in the media were celebrities with horrific stories that I personally (and gratefully) could not relate to.

It made me wonder, had my “numbness” to hearing these stories so often made my skin so thick that even the most horrific did not reach me?

Man women are scared to speak up about harassment.

Then a client’s words helped me find the missing link. She spoke about her fears of having a young daughter in a society where she herself had been groped by men in many different environments.

She questioned what could be done to protect our children, as she was scared.

I came home that night and recalled to my husband so many situations where I had also been touched or grabbed by strangers. When this happened, at a nightclub or a bar, I would try to move away without “making a scene”. I spoke about the men who put a hand up my skirt or push themselves into my crotch, comments they would make such as, “I have a van outside and can have you back here in 20 minutes”. He was in shock.

Why did I accept this? Even growing up with an example of the perfect man in the way of my father, who treated all the women in his life with love and respect, I still accepted this poor behaviour as the norm.

These actions are occurring all the time. We need to find out why men think it is OK

to grab the arse of someone they do not know, and why do we, as women, let it continue?

Men, the uninvited arse grab is never OK. And women, let’s start speaking up. I too, have daughters, and I want them to feel safe.

Change will only occur when we keep up tough conversations, and stop brushing aside inappropriate actions for fear of making a fuss.

Make a fuss. Make a big one.

Donna Cameron is a Melbourne psychologist