Andrew Bolt: No need to attack the ideal dad

Brooke Boney, the Good Dad does exist and it shouldn’t be a myth or anywhere near dangerous for us to expect otherwise.

I knew it was Father’s Day on Sunday the way I know whenever it’s Anzac Day or Australia Day.

I only had to open the pages of The Age, the bible of the Melbourne Left, and there it was: An attack. In this case on the ideal of a dad.

“When I was younger, I probably longed for the kind of unconditional love I saw in movies … a jovial father figure who would make the world seem a little bit more safe and secure,” wrote Channel 9 entertainment reporter Brooke Boney.

“But I think it’s a myth, and a bit dangerous for us to expect this.”

And then came the kind of criticism that men have come to expect from the media – we “offer less (sic) hugs, kisses and words of affirmation” to our sons than our daughters, so it’s no wonder “we’ve got a men’s mental health crisis”.

Sigh. All our own fault, then. We work longer, live shorter and take all the blame if our sons are unhappy. Freud used to blame mummy issues; today it’s all daddy issues. Toxic masculinity.

The Good Dad does exist because he lives in just about ever dad I’ve met, writes Andrew Bolt.

Yet for all that, I felt terribly sorry for Boney to have grown up without a dad at home.

I expect a lot of readers would also have felt instinctively she missed something important, even though she bravely declares the advantage of growing up “free from the burden of their expectations and rules”.

Most dads today, I have to say, grow up free from the burden of expecting thanks for setting the expectations and rules which may sometimes chafe our children, but which often are the tram tracks that help guide them through life.

But I shouldn’t complain. Indeed, even the most woke news outlets, supposedly committed to equality, won’t tolerate self-pity from men.

The ABC could last week run a four-part series on 7.30 on “why women are angry”, interviewing many successful women who are still moaning, but it will be a dark and distant day before it runs a week of shows of men crying “poor me”, too.

So let me instead do what good dads should do, and reassure Brooke Boney.

Yes, Brooke, the good dad of which you once dreamt – loving and strong, keeping his family “safe and secure” – does exist. He is no “myth”, and expecting him to be real is not “dangerous”.

Brooke Boney said it was ‘dangerous’ for all of us to expect a jovial, father-figure type dad in our lives.

I know this Good Dad exists because he lives in me and in just about every dad I’ve met.

I don’t mean to boast I’m that perfect dad. I’m not.

Nor am I blind to the fact that many dads aren’t perfect, either. Some are shockers I’d like treated with a baseball bat.

But Good Dad exists. He’s the dad I want to be and try to be. He’s the perfect dad I sometimes glimpse in other men, or hear about from their grateful children. Or see – often – in my mind’s eye.

You see, he’s the Good Dad who inspires me to make sure my children know that I love them, whatever, and would give anything to save them from danger.

He’s the Good Dad who also won’t let me crumble in front of my children, to whine in self pity over death threats or public attacks, because I know I must make them feel “safe and secure”, and I take joy in that.

I am there for them, not they for me – as this Good Dad keeps whispering in my ear.

So I am the burned-chop man, who gives the best portion to the children. I am the one who

loved being my daughter’s hero when she was young enough to fool, but even now tries hard

to set a standard she’ll one day demand from the man lucky enough to become her husband. I

still owe her that protection.

You’re right, Brooke. None of us dads quite live up to what that Good Dad in our head keeps telling us to do. But which Christians quite live up to their ideals, either? You seem to

mean good, too, but are you always as good as you wished?

The problem with that Good Dad is not that he exists. The problem is that humans fail.

But, thank God, this Good Dad picks up men like me and murmurs “keep going”.

Yes, thank God, because our children need us to be that dad of whom you once dreamt, Brooke, and deserved.

Many men may fall short, but that’s just more reason to celebrate that the good father truly lives.