Alice Coster: Why Lindsay’s lunch was deservedly men only

It’s easy to fume at many issues facing women but wagging the finger at Linday Fox for throwing a men’s only Scottish-themed birthday lunch is not a bagpipe worth blowing.

Lindsay Fox arrives at this 86th birthday lunch at the NGV with his son, David. Picture: Ian Currie

This column was supposed to be about outrage.

When the topic of Lindsay Fox’s all male 86th birthday party came across the desk, it was considered a given we sheilas would be frothing at not being invited to have a seat at the table.

Hell hath no fury, I am woman hear me roar, type thing.

It’s easy to feel the outrage, or blood start boiling at many issues facing women. Conversations around consent, pay equity, toxic masculinity, quotas, sexism in the workplace. The way a certain-type-of-male’s lip curls at the mere mention of names like Brittany Higgins or Grace Tame.

The list goes on and on for this feminist-card carrying female.

But wagging the finger at our trucking billionaire getting his tartan on for his Scottish-themed birthday men’s only luncheon is not the bagpipe I’m blowing this week.

Because sometimes, just sometimes, it doesn’t always have to come down to what appendage you are carrying under the kilt.

Lindsay Fox says his 86th birthday party was all about his mates. Picture: Ian Currie

Wearing Highland dress, a who’s who of our upper testosterone echelon attended the function – including Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, Premier Dan Andrews, his distant former predecessor Jeff Kennett and golfer Greg Norman.

Having attended my fair share of ladies’ lunches over the years, it feels hypocritical to have a whinge at the blokes bonding over claret, or in this case Penfolds Grange Hermitage and single malt whiskey at The Great Hall of the National Gallery of Victoria.

Because where is the outrage when powerbroker Ann Peacock would hold an annual lunch celebrating women in media at Crown every year, with the only male invitees Santa and singer Anthony Callea?

Nor does there seem to be frothing fury when Oaks Day trots up on the social calendar, with sellout ladies lunches across Melbourne awash with a plumage of pink.

Rich-lister Patricia Ilhan has long been known for gathering her ladies who lunch, with female only luncheons and galas to help raise much needed funds for breast cancer and charity.

So why all the conflated conjecture at Fox’s men’s only luncheon?

Rich-lister Patricia Ilhan has long been known for gathering her ladies who lunch. Picture: Penny Stephens

This week I have read everything from Victorian Greens leader Samantha Ratnam waxing on, to an academic in gender studies saying the up-market trucker’s birthday luncheon was sexist.

“I’ve experienced politics being a kind of boy’s club and sometimes it literally is one,” Ratnam said. “This is revealing about how power is really wielded in this country.”

Fair suck of the sauce.

RMIT’s Dr Lauren Gurreri, who provides advice on gender equality to the Victorian Government’s Ministerial Council on Women’s Equality, said the guest list signalled women were not valued.

“By only inviting men, it sends a signal that women are not valued or regarded as holding equal or legitimate standing. They quite literally don’t have a seat at the table,” she said.

Of course women should be invited to the boardroom table, but getting sooky about not being invited to the birthday party table feels like playground politics.

Fox did not hold the party at a men’s-only establishment like The Athenaeum Club. Before the relevant deprived start crowing, yes there are women’s only clubs like The Lyceum too.

In this case it’s not even the symbolism of it all. Fox has invited plenty of women to his various birthday milestones, which this columnist has long reported.

Fox says the guest list which included Jeff Kennett, was made up of people he went to school with and did business with. Picture: Ian Currie

From the $5m cruise trip from New York to Montreal he put on last year to celebrate turning 85, to the “conception party” he threw nine months ahead of his 80th birthday.

So what does Fox say about his recent boysie birthday guest list.

“When you get to my time in life those parties are very important,” he said, and the highlight was “my mates coming around to wish me happy birthday, as simple as that”.

“It was a men’s lunch. It was people I went to school with, people I’ve played football with, people I’ve done business with,” he said.

Many women, myself included, have certainly declared, “gals only”, striking off the plus-one male from the guest list to celebrate a birthday.

So let’s not hand it to the pale stale males on a silver platter by getting our knickers in a knot over the pettier of issues.

Talking of knickers, some secrets from the boys club should perhaps remain there, as the up-market trucker said: “When you get to my size, it’s about finding what IS under the kilt!”

Alice Coster is a Herald Sun columnist