Alice Coster: Taking the pooch the ultimate break-up dog act

Being a lying hound, a dirty dog or a downright bitch isn’t the ultimate dog act in a relationship split — taking the pooch can send anyone barking mad.

Olivia Molly Rogers revealed her devastation at the breakdown of her marriage of seven months — but worse the ex is keeping their dog. Picture: David Caird

A concerned Toorak husband had noticed his cat was behaving oddly.

The Village Vet – Toorak started with the normal questions. Is there a new cat to the area? A change of a cleaning agent, not the usual Spray n’ Wipe? Perhaps a change of feeding routine?

A firm “no” to all three.

Did you change the house cleaner? “Nope.”

Is there anybody new in the house, i.e. a visitor?

“Not that I know of.”

But the question stirred suspicions of “something” different to the relationship. A secret camera was installed.

Suffice to say the cat acting strangely gave away an affair. A messy divorce followed and the fussy feline given away.

A Toorak cat acting strangely gave away an affair.

Pets and partners.

This week former Miss Universe Australia Olivia Molly Rogers revealed her devastation at the breakdown of her marriage of seven months.

Worse, the ex was keeping their beloved Chow Chow Ziggy.

“As I know you all adore Ziggy I keep on getting asked about him. He does not live with me anymore,” Rogers posted on Sunday.

“Justin has taken him. I am devastated and don’t want to talk about it further.”

The ultimate dog act in a split isn’t being a lying hound, a dirty dog or a downright bitch.

Taking the beloved pooch is enough to send anyone barking mad.

Olivia Molly Rogers in happier times with Justin McKeone.

Roger’s pain brought to mind a memorable scene in Legally Blonde where Reese Witherspoon’s character Elle Woods, a Harvard Law student, helps reunite her ‘bend-and-snap’ manicurist friend Paulette Belafonte with her bulldog Rufus.

Standing at the door of the trailer Paulette and her ex-husband once shared, Elle lectures him about common law marriage and the equitable division of the assets.

“Huh?” he asks quizzically.

Then, “I’m taking the dog, dumbass,” Paulette yells as she grabs her beloved Rufus and runs for the car.

While a scene from just another rom-com, it’s a real-life reality.

Couples now tend to put off marriage and children until later in life and getting a pet together has become a big step in their relationship.

While the term “fur baby” is enough to make petless people cringe with good reason, there is no denying our pets have become our children.

Some pets are even more indulged. My grandmother would buy a hot roast chicken for her insane Jack Russell, Taka, twice a week, lovingly tearing the shredded meat from its carcass each lunchtime. Dinner for the grandchild was an afterthought.

There is no denying our pets have become our children — they share our beds when we know they probably shouldn’t.

A friend who is always chastising her kids for their table manners, or lack thereof, thinks nothing of putting a wet and sloppy kiss on the lips of her English Bull Terrier, fully knowing it has just eaten the most indescribable of things.

They share our beds when we know they probably shouldn’t. They take the softest part of the couch and are plied with treats.

We are heartbroken when they die. It hurts whenever we think about the departure of our darlings.

They give the best of best cuddles when you are down.

In the throes of a bitter break-up, the warm loving look of your dog is about the only thing that will lift you out of the mire.

Even the cat will curl up just that little bit closer. They just seem to know.

And just like the manicurist in Legally Blonde, people are wising up.

Enter the pup nup.

Dogs live for their owners, cats live for themselves. Picture: iStock

With 65 per cent of Victorian households owning pets, lawyers say it’s becoming common for couples to sign pet prenups dubbed the pup nup, a binding financial agreement under the Family Law Act to decide who gets to keep their shared pet if they break up.

One friend shares the kids and the ageing pooch. When dad has the kids, mum takes the mutt and so forth.

As with Rogers it can be messy. Who can forget Pistol and Boo?

As if being in protective custody from Barnaby Joyce wasn’t enough, the two Yorkshire terriers were then embroiled in a bitter custody dispute between the warring Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

Sometimes man’s best friend can be a wife’s worst enemy. Sylvester Stallone and his wife of 25 years called it quits after he insisted on getting a new rottweiler named Dwight.

The dog turned out to be a deal-breaking marriage ender.

We again asked Village Vet – Toorak Rod Graham about dealing with pets in a break-up.

“Dogs never give away secrets. Dogs live for their owners, cats live for themselves,” Graham mused.

“I have seen a lot of drama re who gets to keep the dog. Sometimes there is more conflict than who gets the kids. Not great for kids or the dog.

“Best to have rabbits. They don’t care who has them as long as they are fed.”